Food-grade diatomaceous earth is fed to livestock to prevent and/or kill parasites. It also works in humans.

Hello to anyone who decides to read this. I am familiar with many of you, as I have been curiously and lovingly reading most of your posts, particularly Inger's, sabertooth's, and goodsamaritan's. I've been a guest on here for years, but never joined because I wasn't doing a RAF diet, although I've been trying to. I finally joined because I wasn't able to do it on my own, and was wondering if anyone had any suggestions/tips/ideas to make my gag reflex go away...

A little over 3 years ago, I started following Mark Sisson's primal blueprint diet. I had always been relatively healthy, almost never get sick, and was relatively fit. But I have always had some ailments such as psoriasis and dandruff, as well as severe depression and very low self-worth. I went primal after a couple years of just eating regular whole foods (but I did eat bread, which is not a whole food), and before those years was raw vegan, vegan, vegetarian, etc. After going primal, I lost some weight and my depression subsided somewhat. I enjoyed having more  regular energy. I have never really been interested in fruit, which led me to eat somewhat seasonally. But even though I never ate fast food and stayed away from processed junk in preceding years (except yogurt and bread and cheese), eventually after about 2 years, all of my cravings for these foods surfaced again and my emotional imbalances seemed to get out of hand. Obviously this had to do with external factors as well (which are personal and which I won't get into, but have to do with relationships, mental state, not having any goals, etc.), however my appetite eventually could not be sated and I found myself craving chocolate, or ice cream, even cookies after I had already eaten a generously-portioned meal of rich bone broth soup with fatty pork and vegetables in it.

Eventually I abandoned paleo/primal, even though I still identified with it and knew it was at least the right team to be on. I still only buy meat that is grass-fed or pastured, pastured eggs from a local Mennonite farm where the hens eat bugs and plants, wild fish (except mussels- I buy farmed), and try to build my meals around these ingredients. I stay away from vegetable oils and legumes, but grains and sugar and dairy all pull me towards them. Every time I ate/eat something that contains grains and/or sugar I cringe and feel guilty. I know it only causes pain and disease.

I've always instinctively believed that eating whole foods from the earth was the way we were meant to eat, and so in the years precluding my transition I bought and read numerous books on the subject, such as Loren Cordain's "The Paleo Diet", Aajonus Vonderplanitz's books, "We Want to Live" and "The Recipe For Living Without Disease", Mark Sisson's "Primal Blueprint", and other various titles of importance, "Wheat Belly" by William Davis, "The Omnivore's Dilemma" by Michael Pollan, "Eating Animals" by Jonathan Safran Foer, Sally Fallon's "Nourishing Traditions", etc. Not to mention, I've read nearly all there is to read about raw foods from the entire spectrum (I used to be raw vegan eons ago, and vegetarian before that, all during my youth), and have since given away all my raw vegan/vegetarian books away to Goodwill.

Now I'm at a point where I feel lost. I do not need anyone to prove to me that RAF is good; I know this. I know that there is nothing better for the body than fresh pastured meat and especially, the animal's organs. I know that mostly RAF will heal me. But there are a few problems I'm facing. The first is the most important, that the only thing I can stomach eating raw is muscle meat from ruminants, which I can do maybe 2 times a week. I can eat cut up raw organs (heart is definitely the easiest one to eat), but after about 6 bites, my gag reflex kicks in and I have to literally hold my nose and consciously swallow. Eating liver and kidney is most difficult. Lung is a bit odd because of its foamy texture, but otherwise it has no taste and I can eat a few bites. Because of this, though, I can't eat it more often that once a month.

I have had dreams about eating raw meat- I know my body craves it. I love the *idea* of it. The trouble is learning how to enjoy it. In my dreams I will gnaw the meat right off of an animal's leg, or bite into a fresh liver no problem. Seeing others eat this way does not disgust me in the slightest. The fact that most of my friends, my boyfriend, and my family think this is weird or unsafe or downright crazy is an issue I will begin facing once I can actually eat this way.

I need to learn how to do this because I have a lot of things that never went away while being primal/ paleo. I've always had, on and off:

- psoriasis
- dandruff
- joint pain, stiffness
- mental instability, very emotional
- low energy
- low moods
- absolutely zero sexual desire
- no motivation
- no internal clock/ circadian rhythm out of tune
- skin is dull, occasional acne (while primal skin was noticeably healthier
- suboptimal body composition (very strong, but, I am 5'2" and weigh over 150 lbs. I don't appear bubbly and fat, just thick. Luckily no double-chin although I have plenty of thigh to spare)
- no feeling of restfulness in the mornings upon waking

So I guess my question is.. how did all of you begin? Where did you start? Did you starve yourself for days until eating the meat/organs? I have always eaten all of my meat rare and have never shied away from pink pork or chicken. Sashimi has always been a favourite. I just can't seem to actually enjoy eating everything raw and would like to know how everyone does it. I need to learn because I think my low self-esteem and self-worth can also be aided with taking care of myself. I'm tired of staying in the shadows and waiting for something to happen. I have been cooking since I was 8 years old, so erasing my background in French and Italian cooking is also difficult, but I am willing to do that. To be honest, not spending hours in the kitchen is appealing.

Sorry for a long and strange intro. Anyone with anything to share, any tips, or any links to your own stories that you have written before and do not want to type out again, would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading.


Christina