Sabertooth, I hope you don't mind me asking, but when you talk about higher powers protecting you, would you tell me who/what you are referring to?
Ive been asking myself that question for as long as I can remember, and the answers have changed continually along with the various stages of this incarnation. The truth is ultimately beyond words, All I have to offer others is remnants of sentiments, memories and epiphanies; that have over the years changed me from a cynical nihilistic youth, into a much more humble in the face of the mystery Man. When I was a child of 3 years I noticed a birth mark below my knee and remember my mother telling me its from when my guardian angle kissed me as a baby. At times through my growth I have felt the benevolent spirit watching over me, while at other times during my sickness I have felt cursed and outcast by God.
During my last severe bout of illness back in 2008 I remember being stricken terrible with sickness, and also a deep despair of a realization that my life could end in a sick meaningless mess of madness and my young children will become lost to the wicked world. While bedridden with viral meningitis and through the subsequent months of flair ups of an unknown affliction, I prayed constantly for relief, while also promising to God, that if I were to become well again, that I would serve a higher calling whenever called upon.
Of course with life being a fickle tempest, even after regaining health, I often failed to live up to my vows to God. Many other times since those darkest days, I have had challenges, made mistakes, and faced moments of Doubt; but since regaining my faith, I have always looked past these trifles for the opportunity for redemption and renewal by Spirit. Each new suffering that emerges is now viewed upon as a learning experience, instead of a divine punishment; and the pain of existence is transformed into a passion to keep living for the divine moment, regardless of the precarious status of an ever falling sky, or the torment of ever wayward Spirits.
In order to order a Modern Society, the collective mind of humanity infernally attempts to force the separation of the secular from the spiritual worlds; to divide God from Science; to segregate the Ape from its essence. These circumstances create a chronic state confliction and leads to many feeling discombobulated and out of touch with our own nature. Perhaps to a certain degree we must learn to accept these harsh man made realities and try to see that these systems of social control are in many ways necessary for maintaining order among an ever growing horde of highly volatile hominids with Genocidal tendencies. The question then is how best to organize and implement these massive systems of regulations and mental control; which is as much a matter of Art and Religion, as it is of science and reason.
In some ways its easier for many of us to hide behind the dogmas of the Gods, or the iconography of the secular philosophy, or some other mental tripe made up by the control freaks of the day; than to face up to our own individual responsibility in the creative process of life as it manifest here and now. God Consciousness is our birthright as human beings; the ability of the earths children to think for themselves and direct their own destiny, is in direct accord with the fundamental forces of creation itself. The same forces of creation and destruction, that evolved within the movements of the Stars and galaxies, work to shape and form the societies of humankind. This ancient religious sentiment of a cosmic consciousness worldview, in which there is no separation between the creator and the creation, is extremely empowering to the individual; as well as can be extremely disruptive to precarious hierarchical societies built upon restricting and enslaving the individual. I know from first hand experience that those clinging to worldly power do not want to hear anything about the existence of any such higher powers. I am currently under felony indictment and at war with the State that has become Deaf, Dumb and Blind to the truth that there is a higher form of justice than the planet of the ape courts will ever acknowledge.
These dynamic conflicts of (power and control)(creator and Creation)(Slaves and Masters) have played out through the sagas of the ages, and for those with eyes to see, are being played out right now on a scale and sophistication, so grandiose, it boggles the mind to begin to fathom. From within this wilderness backwater forum; from the tiger eyed view, I sit as a silent (and sometimes not so silent) witness, to this divine comedy; not knowing whether to laugh, cry or scream. If there is anything I am sure of, it is that those wild angels watching over the fleshlings of earth are getting one hell of a show.
Not sure if that answers the question, but thanks for allowing the space for some of these musings to be let out.
