Irrational fear

[technosmith]

Hey forum, anyone know any good solutions to treat irrational fears. I have a severe case of fear of blushing, which is messing me up more than anyone can possibly imagine! Sounds ridiculous yes, but it puts me in a state of major stress all the time, and is massively detrimental to my health plus other aspects of my life such as work and social life. Thanks.

[TylerDurden]

Try "High-meat", or perhaps autogenic training.

[raw-al]

Maybe try EFT Emotional Freedom Technique. It's essentially free as it it is explained on the website. http://www.emofree.com/

It's easy also and if you like it you can use it throughout your life.

Having said that there are lots of techniques.

[technosmith]

Yer, i tried EFT for a bit but it didnt seem to help. Maybe i did not do it for long enough perhaps. I really believed it cud have been the solution but didnt find it much help.

[Wattlebird]

Hey forum, anyone know any good solutions to treat irrational fears. I have a severe case of fear of blushing, which is messing me up more than anyone can possibly imagine! Sounds ridiculous yes, but it puts me in a state of major stress all the time, and is massively detrimental to my health plus other aspects of my life such as work and social life. Thanks.

Hi Technosmith
for what its worth, once one is comfortable with a situation 'it' ceases to be a problem.
The problem is not the blushing, but the resistance to the blushing (and associated stress).
Rather than looking at the situation as terrible, embrace it openly, welcome it in fact, as an opportunity to recognise yet another facet of being human.
Next time it occurs, simply watch the situation without trying to do anything about it at all. Allow the stressful feelings to come forward of their own volition, as trying to push them away IS the foundation of resistance.
Situations and thoughts are like boomerangs: what you resist, comes back and persists.
At first the feeling of stress may feel quite powerful, yet stay with them. Should it be too overpowering, shift the attention to the breath and follow  its passage in and out.
The more one can surrender to the situation, so diminishes resistance.
Kind wishes, J

[technosmith]

I totally understand what you are saying J.

I wish I didn't care so much about it happening, but I have witnessed it literally destroy aspects of my life.

I know how powerful it is, and I feel programmed. It just happens. I kinda give up now with it, so yer after blushing most days for the last 10+years I do surrender to it.

[Wattlebird]

If you have really surrendered, it will no longer matter to you if it happens or not.
A common trap is one believes one has surrendered, but still has an underlying hope/wish/desire that 'it' wouldn't happen. There is still remaining resistance.
The boomerang (that you dont want the situation to occur) keeps coming back.
Kind wishes, J

[technosmith]

If you have really surrendered, it will no longer matter to you if it happens or not.
A common trap is one believes one has surrendered, but still has an underlying hope/wish/desire that 'it' wouldn't happen. There is still remaining resistance.
The boomerang (that you dont want the situation to occur) keeps coming back.
Kind wishes, J

Again, you are right.

I know I can't control it, but I still attempt to by avoiding situations and trying to predict future events.

The underlying hope it wouldn't happen is definitely still there, and I don't know how to not bother about it because it does bother me in a big way.

How can I accept a situation that I can't accept. That is the dilemma.

[technosmith]

Try "High-meat", or perhaps autogenic training.

So maybe eating high meat prior to a potential situation?

Anyone know about the effectiveness of autogenic training?

[Dorothy]

NLP is top notch at getting rid of fear and phobias. If you find a good nlp practitioner they will be able to uncondition you. NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming.

[technosmith]

NLP is top notch at getting rid of fear and phobias. If you find a good nlp practitioner they will be able to uncondition you. NLP stands for neuro-linguistic programming.

Wow, you seem completely convinced in this method Dorothy! I know from following your posts that you would not recommend something lightly.

I will definitely investigate this further.

[Wattlebird]

How can I accept a situation that I can't accept. That is the dilemma.

Hi Technosmith,
yes, beautifully succinct.
I have worked with a number of people with this type of situation and I can assure you that profound acceptance can occur.
If you wish to work further on your situation, I would recommend finding a suitable person, who you feel comfortable with, both in tems of their persona, and their approach.
I wish you all the best
Kind wishes, J

[eveheart]

The problem is not the blushing, but the resistance to the blushing (and associated stress).
Rather than looking at the situation as terrible, embrace it openly, welcome it in fact, as an  opportunity to recognise yet another facet of being human.

I blush, and my work puts me in front of a lot of "tough" people when it happens. I try to say something about it first, such as, "Uh-oh, am I blushing again?" When I am told that I am, I laugh heartily. There are a lot of cliches that go along with this type of response, such as "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

I believe that if you let yourself be vulnerable, there is nothing left for anyone to attack. OTOH, if you defend yourself, you invite attack from others. If it's any consolation to you, nothing bad has ever happened to me when I blush in public. More important, a lot of good has come to me by being able to laugh at myself.

[raw-al]

So maybe eating high meat prior to a potential situation?

Possibly but having it as a regular part of your diet at least for a while to repopulate your GI Tract with apropos bacteria.

[Wattlebird]

I believe that if you let yourself be vulnerable, there is nothing left for anyone to attack.

Yes, and paradoxically with the vulnerability is a strength, that is, I am comfortable in my skin and I do not fear vulnerability.
Thanks for sharing Eveheart.
Kind wishes, J

[Dorothy]

Thanks for that vote of confidence! 

NLP works directly with the neurological patterns that hold a fear or phobia in place. Lifelong phobias that have made it impossible for people to live normal lives are often reprogrammed in one session. It's powerful stuff. I've got all sorts of training in it so I'm quite familiar with how well it works with fears like what you are describing. There is no other behavioral or psychological therapy that can compete with it for phobias.

I hope that all the great suggestions you are getting here make it so that this just changes for you...  and I bet it's good to know that there are folks out there trained to help. You can change this by changing how you view it (what is called reframing in nlp) and reprogram yourself. The fastest and easiest way to get results is find someone who is trained, but learning all about how it's done could also open up a fascinating field of study that has broadened and enhanced my own life no end. 

Best of luck to you in your research!