Eye Contact

[wodgina]

When I eat 100% RPD I find I will maintain eye contact with people, sometimes I notice  it with someone I'm working for or in the past my boss until they look away before I do and realise I should of looked away first.

It's pretty rare someone look you in the eye when you speak to them.

Interesting some cultures don't look at each other in the eye, what does this mean?

[cherimoya_kid]

It means that a RPD makes you less fearful and submissive.  This is one of the ways in which this diet "robustifies" you, to use PaleoPhil's word.

[Dorothy]

Eyes move in different directions when accessing internal states or thinking about things. The science of watching the movement of eyes while talking fascinates me. You can tell a lot about what is going on within someone by watching how their eyes move. You can tell what sense they are accessing, for instance if they are visualizing something while talking to you or accessing a past physical sensation.

But these movements are momentary and would usually come right back to the person being spoken with.

In our culture when someone doesn't look at all at the person they are talking to in the eye or mouth, to me that generally could indicates a neurological dysfunction or that the person is being extremely internal. Looking away first like Cheri said can be a submissive act as well. But what I think you are referring to is a deeper societal health imbalance that you are noticing and that you have overcome with your healthy diet. It takes neurological strength to hold a gaze. Our eyes are directly linked to our neurological systems.

[HIT_it_RAW]

It's pretty rare someone look you in the eye when you speak to them.

is it? Not over here. Only very shy people don't look others in the eye when talking here. Most consider it rude or a display of lacking social skills. Funny thing cultures.

[Haai]

I also think it is pretty normal for two people to look each other in the eyes when talking to each other. If you don't look someone in the eyes whilst they are talking to you the person who is talking to you thinks you're not listening or don't give a shit about what they are saying.

 The only time I could not look my boss in the eyes at work when he was talking to me was one time I was stoned more than ever and I was paranoid that he would have been able to see it in my eyes. I remember that it was not easy to NOT look him in the eyes, because my subconscious or instinct or whatever was wanting me to look in his eyes. He probably thought I was acting pretty weird and could probably see I was completely stoned anyway lol.

Another common eye contact scenario: you are in, for example, the metro...travelling from A to B. You are looking at a guy (his face) quite far from you for some reason (happens a lot for no conscious reason) and suddenly he turns his head slightly, maybe even just his eyes, so that he makes eye contact with you. Do you either 1) break the eye contact by looking away immediately or 2) maintain eye contact by staring him right back in the eyes?

I used to always respond with 1). But I started responding increasingly with 2). Usually the other guy will break the eye contact himself within a second or two.

With people of the opposite sex (females in my case) I also used to respond very much with 1), but now almost always with 2).

[wodgina]

The continent is known for it's arrogance and I can't think or a better word HIT!

the Central Australian aboriginals do not look each other in the eye as a rule. It's disrespectful.

Western Women will look downwards when  you make eye contact with them and they like you, it's an act of submissiveness.

[wodgina]

I also think it is pretty normal for two people to look each other in the eyes when talking to each other. If you don't look someone in the eyes whilst they are talking to you the person who is talking to you thinks you're not listening or don't give a shit about what they are saying.

 The only time I could not look my boss in the eyes at work when he was talking to me was one time I was stoned more than ever and I was paranoid that he would have been able to see it in my eyes. I remember that it was not easy to NOT look him in the eyes, because my subconscious or instinct or whatever was wanting me to look in his eyes. He probably thought I was acting pretty weird and could probably see I was completely stoned anyway lol.

Another common eye contact scenario: you are in, for example, the metro...travelling from A to B. You are looking at a guy (his face) quite far from you for some reason (happens a lot for no conscious reason) and suddenly he turns his head slightly, maybe even just his eyes, so that he makes eye contact with you. Do you either 1) break the eye contact by looking away immediately or 2) maintain eye contact by staring him right back in the eyes?

I used to always respond with 1). But I started responding increasingly with 2). Usually the other guy will break the eye contact himself within a second or two.

With people of the opposite sex (females in my case) I also used to respond very much with 1), but now almost always with 2).

Keep looking and say what's up with your body language unless they have a neck tattoo.

With women just keep looking back until they smile, look down or look away.

[CitrusHigh]

I thought it was interesting what you said about looking in to the eyes or the mouth dorothy.

I noticed years back when I first started becoming aware of my behaviour that I was looking at people's mouths sometimes when I talked them. This bothered me, because I don't want people looking at my mouth while I'm talking. Now I'm really good about eye contact, I like the connection you get with with responsive eye contact. But, every once in a while I still notice I look people in the mouth lol and quietly hope to myself that I wasn't doing that the whole conversation, I think probably not though, because it's just habit to look people in the eyes. A big part of it, besides how I carry myself, is like you said, I like to see what the eyes are telling me. Plus eyes are just cool anyway, so many different colors and designs, almost like a galaxy in there!

[eveheart]

Funny thing cultures.

I live in an area where there are many distinct cultures, and the "eye contact/no eye contact" disparity is so great (along with other cultural differences) that many organizations have special trainings to teach their employees how to deal with diversity issues. In my profession, state law requires me to have such training.

With respect to the topic being discussed here, the technique to promote multi-cultural harmony is to become familiar with the ways other cultures vary and not put one's own culture's interpretation on it. So when a client casts their eyes down as a sign of respect, I don't interpret it as a sign of shyness or disrespect.

[raw-al]

Eyes move in different directions when accessing internal states or thinking about things. The science of watching the movement of eyes while talking fascinates me. You can tell a lot about what is going on within someone by watching how their eyes move. You can tell what sense they are accessing, for instance if they are visualizing something while talking to you or accessing a past physical sensation.

But these movements are momentary and would usually come right back to the person being spoken with.

In our culture when someone doesn't look at all at the person they are talking to in the eye or mouth, to me that generally could indicates a neurological dysfunction or that the person is being extremely internal. Looking away first like Cheri said can be a submissive act as well. But what I think you are referring to is a deeper societal health imbalance that you are noticing and that you have overcome with your healthy diet. It takes neurological strength to hold a gaze. Our eyes are directly linked to our neurological systems.

It's interesting to try looking at the other person's left eye and then shift for awhile to look at the right eye and so forth.

I don't remember which is which but I do recall that one eye is more superficial while the other is looking deeply into their soul. They feel a connection.

Police are taught to watch where people look when they are asked a question, as it reveals which part of their brain they are accessing. They tend to look towards the area of the visual cortex when trying to recall a visual scene for instance as I recall.

Stuart Wilde says that if you are behind someone and you look at the rear part of their neck they will sense it automatically and turn around and look straight in your eyes, usually so fast that you do not have time to turn away. I have found it to be true.

So if you are walking along and you find yourself suddenly drawn to turn around and look at someone, it is probably not just an accident.

[Ioanna]

i took a linguistics class... because i had to... but the professor said that if you watch any conversation between two people, each will take turns looking away every 3-7 seconds.  he was watching my best friend and i talking about girly things one day before class started and said 'yep, you're following the 'rules'.

interesting some random article i read, i think it said that humans are the only that can detect what another is actually looking at.

[raw-al]

I find that sometimes I have to look away from the person in order to concentrate on what I am saying as I get lost in their eyes and trying to interpret their faces, or when I am passing some judgement on them.  This is especially true, but not restricted to attractive women, or maybe it's unattractive women er ah maybe it's the ones in between...... 

There is definitely a lot of stuff going on when you look at someone's eyes.

It also seems to be related to my own state of mind. ie. if I am feeling great/powerful/strong or self-assured, I gaze in their eyes in a nice, loving, kind almost fatherly way.

If I am in a wimpy, weak, miserable, defensive state of mind, God only knows what I will do.  It's best when I figure it out and even if I have to fake it, it's best to change my mind to the best state of mind. It tends to drag me kicking and screaming out of the miserable state. Funny how that works.

All the world's a stage.....

My wife and I have developed funny ways to drag the other one out of the miserable mood.

[raw-al]

If you cock your head to one side, especially in the same way the other person does, they will tend to feel like you are safe to talk to.

Neuro Linguistic programming is all about this sort of thing. For instance if you notice that the other person uses expressions like, 'I hear you', or 'sounds good', or 'like music to my ears', then they are an audio type person and you can tell a lot about their personality from that.

If they use words that denote feeling like "I feel your pain" or "let's touch base later on that" then they are feeling types.

There are kinaesthetic, audio, visual and olfactory/gustatory people. You learn these types and if you respond to them using the same typs of words, they feel safe with you.

You can know what clothes to wear to impress them etc. Fascinating stuff.

[raw]

Eye contact is the another important measurement of people with mental illness. My brother is suffering Schizophrenia and we can tell you pretty much about his condition after contacting or looking at his eyes. People with mental illness, they can stare at or can have the longest eye contact than regular people like us.

With children, the eye contact also has different meaning. When I had my son five yrs ago, I completely deprived myself for the 1st 5 months of my pregnancy. After 5 months, I started drinking wheat grass juice, raw milk ...etc. Obviously, my son was born very ill. After almost two years later he stated eating raw paleo. His eyes contact is kind of funny. If I call him, he doesn't look at my eyes mostly. He is five and he is showing his speech delay and other stuff. Other then that he is pretty much healthy so far. My daughter is 7 months old and her eye contact is very clear (from the beginning she is on RPD). She looks at me right away after I call her. Her concentration is like magnet. Clear and normal eye contact  also reflects of individual's good health.

[Dorothy]

Yes Raw - that's the neurological connection that I referred to. The eyes are directly linked to neurology - so like Al said it was noticed by the founders of NLP that eyes moved in different directions with different kinds of thoughts. We all do an elaborate dance with each other when talking. I've seen slowed down videos of two people talking that liked each other where there were millions of tiny movements all in sync with each other. What Al referred to was building "repore" with someone but doing it consciously. But no one can keep up with unconscious repore consciously becomes it is so subtle and fast - so Al, your putting yourself in a better energy will be much more effective than tilting you head! But tilting your head can't hurt. 

Beyond nlp there are even more detailed sciences of micro-movements that we all do and what we do with our eyes is the the most directly linked to our thoughts, brain, nervous system than any other movements. Staring directly without moving in and out of it is not "normal". Eyes will move around a persons face when they are talking if we are taking them in fully and our eyes/brain are healthy. How that happens is very much societal/cultural as is looking away out of respect or submission, but dead staring is not something you see in any culture unless it's high aggression. When you are talking it's almost impossible to keep staring at the person you are talking to you because you will be accessing different parts of your brain as you think different kinds of thoughts. The length of time you look back and forth and away will be different in different cultures, but basic human neurology and accessing the vocal parts of your brain lead to eye movements. If you are in repore with the person you are talking to how your eyes move will be in a kind of dance with the other person. The dance is different in cultures, but a dance it is.

Interestingly dogs are the only animal that will understand these basic human indicators of expression. They have evolved to respond to human eye movements and pointing. Not even gorillas can do this.

[Alive]

That'l be why we have white around our eyes. I'm always amazed at how far behind them that people know they are being watched and instinctively turn. Try it out when you're driving - if you look at peoples backs they tend to turn and check you out vs just looking ahead. Looking at someone can be like a jet fighter locking its radar onto a target!

[Dorothy]

That'l be why we have white around our eyes. I'm always amazed at how far behind them that people know they are being watched and instinctively turn. Try it out when you're driving - if you look at peoples backs they tend to turn and check you out vs just looking ahead. Looking at someone can be like a jet fighter locking its radar onto a target!

It's a particular part of the brain that gets accessed when someone stairs at you from behind and relates to the visual centers. We literally have energetic eyes behind our heads!

[cobalamin]

I look away when I try to understand what the person just said or look away when I speak english. I find that the english language keeps a person in their head while speaking.

Europeans are pretty anal with the eye contact = respect. They expect it which gets annoying. Its like everyone is dependent on everyone for energy that no one is happy and independent. I mainly avoid eye contact because I can easily connect with everyones aura.. its too personal.

[RawZi]

It means that a RPD makes you less fearful and submissive.  This is one of the ways in which this diet "robustifies" you,

    People in command who really shouldn't be could get me to leave them to do that before I tried RAFs. Since I started them , it's a different story. Sure, it can mean some trouble when they're meaning to do harm or do something that they might not even realize will cause ills.  In the long run though things are always better than no RAfs, IME.  A little trouble and then things getting better is better than pernicious chronic worsening all the time.   

[Alive]

Yes its important to stand up for your self from the beginning to help things go the way you want.

[RawZi]

its important to stand up for your self from the beginning to help things go the way you want.

    And when someone is an opportunistic parasite and gets you when you're down, raw meat will lift you up with the strength you need to keep alive.  I can give such a stare now.  I could before, but much better now. If someone wants to lie to me, no matter how much they want that, they back down now from my stare.

[Dorothy]

 I'm glad you got your strength back Zi!

[wodgina]

    And when someone is an opportunistic parasite and gets you when you're down, raw meat will lift you up with the strength you need to keep alive.  I can give such a stare now.  I could before, but much better now. If someone wants to lie to me, no matter how much they want that, they back down now from my stare.
[/quote

    And when someone is an opportunistic parasite and gets you when you're down, raw meat will lift you up with the strength you need to keep alive.  I can give such a stare now.  I could before, but much better now. If someone wants to lie to me, no matter how much they want that, they back down now from my stare.

Sociopaths won't. But yeah I do it as well.