Oh, that is good to know Lex that I can ask people's experience and advice on things.
I realized when I looked at my journal that it sounded like I was saying eating a bite of cooked food made me feel lighter. That is not what I meant. I meant that RAW makes me feel light. I LOVE this feeling. I do not like feeling weighed down--by guilt, by anxiety, or by food or intestinal discomfort. to me, it is all the same thing and clogs the spirit--spirit and body are like half and half of a whole for me.
So I had a little of my mocha and that was it. It seemed to satisfy me more than tea which makes me feel wired in a way that is unpleasant. I am not motivated to drink decaffeinated coffee. I have read that the process makes it not so good for you. Well, we will see if I go overboard on it, b/c it will end up tossed out the window if I do. This is generally why I like keeping the diet as plain as possible.
I don't really like clothes very much or furniture. I sleep on the floor now b/c the bed feels like a pile of mushy oatmeal, and I don't use a bunch of soaps and cosmetics. This is not b/c I am trying to be "natural." It feels natural to me to doe these things, just as it feels natural to eat this way. as for sugar issues, that feels HABITUAL, which is certainly not the same as natural. Habitual as a way to tune out. this is not the direction I wish to move in. I would rather "feel" uncomfortable than dull it.
My goal is to find a balance where I can remove scars of my past with food, and be able to have small amounts of what I find pleasurable without ruining it by overdoing. As for the meat, this feels easy and pleasant. I never get tired of it. I love the ease, like not having to cook, feel great eating it. I don't miss vegetables one bit. And I was always a "veg" person. Bread is something I will stay far away from. It makes me feel dull, blocked, and lifeless.
I will be interested to see how my senses sharpen as I improve my health.