Raw and Musings and Random Cosas

[brokenbox]

Ok this is my journal, I didn't see any rules under the journal section, which is good cuz I generally don't like them and I tend to break them, nothing personal..
People know me as outspoken, different, my room mate calls me a crab, hermit crab haha, honestly people annoy me, I can't connect anymore unless I fake it, well at least in LA maybe its different elsewhere, but I'm starting to doubt it.. its hard I grew up here but I see so much wrong with it. I'm not perfect, Im not a wanna be or a "yogi", we get a lot of "cool" kids here in LA, especially living in Santa Monica, they're "cool" because they're vegans, or their raw (when the movement first hit), they have skinny bikes, wear skinny pants, and now they care about the environment, because you know its cool now, and you can get cool, recycled Earth bags at Whole Foods to tote your tofu in. And celebrities endorse recycling but continue to rock homes and cars that cost millions to fuel, and go on strike because they want 50 million rather than 25 or whatever... Sorry to rant but its part of my journal. Were here because we care about our health, we choose to eat raw, to get back to basics, but soon this won't be possible if people continue to screw the universe, consume and destroy, and it sucks... Anyways rather than progress why don't scientist recommend the opposite was it so bad, life use to be simple and now were killing ourselves and others over money, its doesn't make sense...

Ok so yesterday, I was thinking of how to approach my raw diet, I read about the wai, tried it but I'm just not a fruit fanatic, I like it but I get bloated times 10 and I want something of fatty substance... So yesterday was mostly raw, except in the late evening I had chicken pattys with a bit of bacon and mayo (bad) low carb, but cooked and definitely crap... today is better, trying to finish off fruit in the house- I don't like to waste food... So noon I had a whole cantaloupe, which was ok but it was under ripe, which is probably better... a smoothie before I was going out- 2 frozen bananas, a bit raw cacao (yeah I have a ton of this crap leftover from a long time ago..) some coconut oil, ice... early dinner was raw ahi tuna, with 1/2 avocado, mango cut up, it was quite good...anyways I'm hungry again, surprise, surprise. So I thinking of going for a jog just because, later I'l debating whether to cook some eggs and call it a day, one cooked meal at the end of an evening isn't killer really, tomorrow will be first day all raw, and limiting fruit to 2 pieces a day... Hey I also noticed in the journals sticky my friend Raven is up, her blog, she's freaking awesome chick! is she on here - Raven Morgan, Sky, where be you!!

[yon yonson]

my views exactly on the state of people/the world. by the way, my advice for getting started: find grass fed marrow. its delicious, it really helped me stay on the diet at the beginning. good luck

[JaX]

too many people do stuff cus it's a "fad"... like with diet... it's the vast minority who consciously choose to find the path to health, and who think things through themselves, making their own conclusions.

[TylerDurden]

Good stuff! Hope this becomes as big as Lex's journal!

[brokenbox]

Thanks Yon and Seeker, yeah no joke society is numb and most people are sheep-ole... all I can say is I HATE T-PAIN...lol, random.. no seriously my friend just face-booked- or whatever this retarded rap video and thinks its cool...ok, yeah... sure but his whining, or moaning about crap or whatever is killing my brain cells..

Ok lets see today, was Ok... not perfect! Which would be nice, anyways I'm not going to be dogmatic about it so whatever. I had a banana in the afternoon (why do I have so many in my house!!) some leftover raw ahi tuna, went to the gym did my thing, came home about to eat a ribeye raw but it was well.. boring, I like it cooked very rare, I love the soft, runny fat, so I boiled it a bit on each side *gasp*... So that, I packed 6oz raw ground beef with 1/2 avocado for work- so yum, after you let it sit out of the fridge for 30 to 1 hour before eating, had that around early evening hours plus another banana (they're almost gone, screw it tonight I'll give the rest to my friend) and than I couldn't resist free kobe beef patties at work when I got off, so Im having one 1/2lb kobe beef patty (way over cooked for my liking.. obviously) with an ounce of raw goat cheese... and wow Im so full, I never got this full on very low- zero carb, cooked, it was like I could always take more.. I did eat cooked today but maybe the addition of raw and fruit helped...

So yeah Im not sure how perfect I'll be till I get my paycheck on Tuesday but I'll do my best to incorporate as much raw as possible, Im going to do mostly low carb to very low carb as I've felt so bloated from all the fruit in the last couple of days...

Benefits I feel so far- energy is good, my depression seems to have lifted a lot! my urge to binge is non existent lately (this is most important to me), and I'm so full on less food, which in the past wasn't so with raw meat, I was just more disgusted that I didn't want to eat, I was forcing organs on myself too fast and was completely raw with no dairy (I lasted 5 stupid days), but I want to detox slow because I can't afford to take time off right now... one other thing, I have to give up splenda, its such a terrible vice, Im in love with it but starting tomorrow its gone completely, say bye bye, ok tis all cuz Im tired now...

[Guittarman03]

You can make your own mayonaise.  I have almost done it while making egg salad.  It's not perfectly raw paleo, but if your gonna use mayonnaise, it would prob be alot better for you, and still mostly paleo.

You need some soft boiled eggs (so the yolk is still pretty runny), olive oil, some apple cider vinegar, and perhaps even some butter (all of it raw except for the eggs).  Mix em all together, tho I don't know the proportions.   

I know it sounds crazy, but you can throw some avocado into the mix.  For some reason, soft/hard boiled eggs and avocado taste great together. 

Glad to hear your energy levels are recovering. 

[Raw Kyle]

The traditional mayonnaise recipe uses raw egg, lemon juice and oil.

[brokenbox]

Wow, I forgot I started a journal here. Not much and to be honest I sound cynical, shocking.. But alot has happened in a little over a year.. Currently I've been way off track and somewhat totally on track- eh? Well its been one month, tomorrow, that I have quit my bulimia, I haven't binged nor purged, and although I'm about 15 lbs heavier than my last post I'm pretty elated.. However, I feel its time to get my weight and Health back on track. I'm currently living with my boyfriend the most amazing and patient person ever, he's is definitely a huge part of my recovery. And at the same time I have been a bitch and have yelled at him for my current weight gain, because like most red blooded American men he eats shit and I follow suit. Is that really an excuse, uh probably not.. but it sure feels good to blame someone 
Anyways he's still lucky to have me! lol.. Now to heal myself of possible damage done to my body through years of bulimia is really why I'm really considering giving raw paleo a good go! I will admit I'm freaked out that too strict a diet may bring about my bulimia, but to be honest I personally feel I may be ready. Without getting too personal on everyone, my grandmother- my legal guardian who was like a mother to me (because the real one is not one), passed this May. A lot of responsibility has been placed on me but in a way a huge relief has recovered me and has given me the ability to change. And I think she was afraid of burdening me, she had told me many times in the past but I don't feel like I'd ever want to say she was! I said a lot of hurtful things as a child but definitely did not mean them, she and I as well as my real mother went through a lot together, it was dysfunctional but I have no resentment or ill feelings towards her. She passed at 89 years of age but gave me everything and made me what I am today- not totally successful, yet, but unrelenting and independent...

So currently living in San Diego, and I actually hate it more than LA but guess that's because I live right next to a Marine Base, yea.. my boyfriend is a Marine.. but he's actually cool because, for one he is trying to get into the health thing with me (although I despise his 8 pack he developed from a diet of milk duds, subway and other junk- however I bought him the Paleo Diet when we first started dating and he quit alot of sugar), he is into conspiracy theories and other non-mainstream ideas, he likes indie films, the history channel, the Wu tang clan, and he's intellectual which is beyond hot  oh yeah and he's Jamaican 
But anyways screw him this is about me lol, I know he'll never change his diet the way I'd like but that's fine, I already made it clear Im not trying to reproduce in this lifetime so I'm not worried about the possibility of screwing my children's DNA, or what not..
So first step is eliminating like a lot of foods I've been indulging in that I wouldn't much in the past less I was bingeing! So things like rice, I had some pea soup and other canned soups lately, packaged foods from Trader Joes, chocolate!! like way too much of that, some milk duds or popcorn at movies because of him!! Other candy and just been eating to much etc.. One good thing is I've given up coffee finally and splenda except for a diet coke last night.. but have really been doing good in that sense.. We do eat a lot of meat, I try and cook as much as I can stand, and we go to TJ's, but its tough cuz the options for health food in this city compared to L.A are like night and day. This is Kmart, Walmart and McDonalds land.. but still found some other good stores to shop at..
Ok well its early morning now, I'm still an insomniac like crazy so I'm going to sleep finally, hopefully I'll post soon! and stick to my ambitions this time!