Still seeking approval

[Poncho]

Alright so, heres the deal.
When I write things, I often feel nervous when I think about you guys reading it.
Thats why I always need to ask your opinion I guess.
I just figured it out now, I didn't realize why I did it before.
I knew I was all nervous that you guys would think I sucked, thats why I linked my blog haha.
I felt like if I didn't show you, then I was hiding it from you, because I'm nervous.
If you feel like reading many pages of writing written by a girl whos lived in her own head for 3 years, please do.
And then tell me whats wrong with it.

http://rawreconstruction.com/welcome-to-health/

[goodsamaritan]

Wow, amazing spokesman, press release. 5 stars. Must be on yahoo news, google news, ap, reuters, etc.

[cherimoya_kid]

Well, I didn't read it all, but it seems fairly well-organized and well-put so far.

[Poncho]

Wow, amazing spokesman, press release. 5 stars. Must be on yahoo news, google news, ap, reuters, etc.

Thank you. wow haha. I'm not sure if youre just trying to make me feel good about myself, but Im relieved anyways

Well, I didn't read it all, but it seems fairly well-organized and well-put so far.

Yeah its long. I dont know how that happened.
Thanks

[jessica]

I didn't read it all either tayla.  I think its great for personal documentation and once  you really get to a stable point will be helpful for you and possible a great reference for material that would be more easily shared with others. 

to be honest id like to go all dr. phil on you and wonder if you feel like needing this level of approval in real life and if you think that has anything to do with your health issues because I am convinced a lot of issues linger due to psychosomatic causes but that might be a bad interpretation and perhaps has my own bias on it.

just know you are a intelligent, courageous girl, people definitely engage you here and if they don't its because we don't know how more to help you or guide you with more introspection or recommendations, not because you are not worthy of "approval"

[Poncho]

I seek approval because I have lost all of my friends haha, no secret.
So I have no friends to pat me on the back.
Then, everyone in the 'real' world believes strongly in the western way, so they don't agree with a thing I say.
The internet is all raw vegan and 'meat is evil' blah blah blah.

So I get no feedback, ever.

People like feedback.

Raw paleo forum = the only people that may hopefully have good things to say about things I think.

I know that 8 pages of writing isn't easily shared with others, I just wanted a big thorough piece of writing that covers a bunch.
From there I figured I could make videos and whatnot?

Maybe?

[Inger]

OK Poncho... I think you have a beautiful heart. And I can feel the pain with you staying alone. Also me is totally alone.. dragging the others around me up.. up up and it can be so exhausting at times. It takes so much power. So I really want to go to my brothers cottage and live there in the wild for a few months without any electricity and comfort, in the cold and dark. I crave it!

Now I'll give you feedback. I would talk less about raw meat and more about raw seafood. They are way more healing IMO and also easier for vegans maybe? Not that you need to do anything to please them, but seafood is the most healing food on earth I am very sure about that. Especially for the brain. Stuff like oysters... seaweeds, fish with head, organs and skin included... those are what humans need today. Sure, raw meat is way better that a diet with mainly fruits or a SAD. But it does not fill the screaming need for certain nutrients to heal the brain and the whacked hormones of the people in today's world. Believe me.

But you are on the right track. I am proud of you <3 I am proud of everyone that speaks up and helps change the world into a better place. It all starts with us/me.

I am thinking about doing something similar (not a blog though) to spread the good stuff, but I need to wait a bit, and heal some more first. I need silence and loneliness to do it. So I need to leave here first. Here are too many stress factors (my parents place). But I already have it all figured out in my head, my plans are ready and I know where to go. I cannot wait    You know, also me feels this strong urge to help, I suffer when I see how people suffer too. We live in such a ill and weird world, really, in so many ways.

Poncho.. you know how shocked people get when i tell the truth? Raw fish eyes.. and brains.. and no artificial lights.. and get to feel the cold.. walk barefoot.. people easily think you are crazy. You need to have really good reason to explain why. And that takes a lot of education. Only that way it can work. It needs to be done very wisely, to not turn people unnecessary away. Grand exercise. I am glad there are people like you who have the same goals I do.

 

[bookittyrun]

 

this is exactly what i was talking about...  very well done!  you deserve a pat on the back, and your continued efforts will only be triumphant in outcome!  being an inspiration to others requires no approval from "friends"...

i've learned that being "friend-less" (as i've been for much of my life) is not such a bad way to be...  it takes a courageous soul to embrace it...

more than approval, i am proud you've taken this step.  you have my respect...     

[Poncho]

Ah! I totally meant raw seafood as well. More so even. My boyfriend and I talk about that all the time.
When we started raw paleo, we were on the ocean, eating raw fish daily. It was far better.
I figured that raw meat included fish! Ill change that! Thank you haha
Fresh oysters to me feel like eating a 300,000,000 point healing potion. I love them so <3

I've looked crazy for so long, that I've got the whole 'fuck it' mentality, and Im just a crazy health soldier now.
I'm not healed yet, but I am well on my way.
I figured watching progress is going to help the general public see the truth. Maybe not?

Here's what my grandma messaged me :
"Hello my Sweet Angel,
Yes I believe that you are my angel on earth! I am taking your advice seriously. You helped me realize there is an alternative to traditional chemo, etc. Of course I knew it, but I needed to be reminded of it. I needed you to shake me up a bit.
I walked barefoot on the grass this morning and am drinking green shakes...which I LOVE!"

Even the doctor followers can see the truth when it calls to them!

I'm excited.

this is exactly what i was talking about...  very well done!  you deserve a pat on the back, and your continued efforts will only be triumphant in outcome!  being an inspiration to others requires no approval from "friends"...

i've learned that being "friend-less" (as i've been for much of my life) is not such a bad way to be...  it takes a courageous soul to embrace it...

more than approval, i am proud you've taken this step.  you have my respect...     

Thank you so much
I'm waiting on the player haters to come for me, that should be real nice.
Another thing I am used to though, haha.
This whole 'losing all of my friends due to sickness in the brain' kinda thing, has really prepared me for this world.

[Poncho]

I sent her everything you guys suggested, and told her that great natural healers recommended it

[cherimoya_kid]

Good luck to her. I knew a wealthy businessman who started a successful health food store after he cured an ailment of his with alternative methods.

[Poncho]

Thanks, I'll pass on the wishes.
My faith in people grows every day

[jessica]

honestly its hard to always give approval etc because how can we know that what you are doing is right?  your healing is going to be specific to you, as it is for all of us.  we can only offer suggestions as far as our experience goes, but after that it is up to you to understand that true personal health is satisfaction in itself.  I don't think you gain the big majority of healing from outside sources, it always come from within because it is choices you make for yourself that only effect yourself that are the real healing factors.

I think that's harder for younger people to recognize, because you are still influenced so much by family, educational systems and the decisions and opinions of others at this point.  just know its not about proving other people wrong, proving how much you hurt and proving yourself right, its about making subtle but firm decisions and choices that create a healthy environment and physical life for yourself, the mind will follow in this healing, it has no choice. 

its subtle because we often listen to the mind first, even when it is sick, but if you can get in tune with the ways the body and heart also send signals and preferences it will help you make decisions and learn to focus your energy on true healing and healthy.

[Poncho]

never mind haha.
everyone else knew what I was talking about, it seems.