Is it possible to change the food habits of people around you?

[dair]

My boyfriend is someone feeding on pizzas, cookies, bread and cheese, he a smoker and occasional drinker... He does like meat, and eats mett sometimes, a german breakfast white bread with raw porc, (but I would not eat the meat as it is not pastured or organic and with preservatives). But there's something he loves more than anything else, and it is: pizza: his favorite food... Before I met him, I hadn't had a pizza for 14 years. I had a few weeks where he totally dragged my down in his dirty food habits, but then stopped sharing meals with him...
He is very afraid of germs... and it's very difficult to try to change his mind on things. Somehow I feel we are getting more and more apart, and I miss sharing food with him.
How do you deal with people around you? Sharing food with others, or not?
Somehow I feel I need to hide this raw meat eating, people thinks it's too much somehow... How do you get out of the closet lol?

[a_real_man]

I see two approaches to the matter. You can take the honest advertising approach. Or keep it to yourself.

Honest advertising: you unashamedly share who you are. As a result, you will polarize people you know. Most of them will think you're a freak. But those who don't will like you for who you are. As opposed to if you keep it to yourself, in which case people will like you for who you're not. It's up to you if you want to keep them as friends.

But don't forget the story of Jesus. When sheeple don't like what you preach, they will crucify you and have a laugh about it. People don't like things that make them feel bad (even if it's to their benefit), and will destroy such things with all their power. Even if those things don't concern them, they will still go out of their way to eliminate them. Take as another example, gays. In no way should what other people do in their bedroom be a concern to others. But people still went about lynching gays. So make your choice.

[ys]

If a person is not showing any interest in it then it is not possible.

Just like it is not possible to help a drug addict unless they want to help themselves.

[dariorpl]

Talk to him and help him see how ridiculous it is that he's terrified of germs and at the same time eats mett.

Don't push him to change his eating habits, but don't hide yours either. To the contrary, show him how your eating habits are much better for you than if you were eating like he does.

Finally, I would say, I wouldn't even date a girl more than once if she wasn't 100% cool with my eating habits, let alone make her my girlfriend.

[dariorpl]

Somehow I feel I need to hide this raw meat eating, people thinks it's too much somehow... How do you get out of the closet lol?

I don't go around telling everybody I meet what I eat and what I don't, most people don't need to know, or don't care to know, or don't want to know, and that's fine. But if you're trying to build a lifelong relationship with someone, that's not someone you want to be "in the closet" with.

How do you deal with people around you? Sharing food with others, or not?

Case by case basis, and depending on the closeness of the relationship(s), how they feel about it, how much time you're planning on spending with them and the reasons why you are spending time with them.

Finally, there are some food preparations where, if in a given situation it's acceptable for you to bring your own food for yourself only, others won't even realize that it's raw from sight alone.

[Qondrar_The_Redeemer]

It is possible the change the habits of people only if they want to change themselves. Otherwise, just accept what they eat and they should do the same for you. If they don't want to accept what you eat, then avoid them.

I honestly don't care whether or not I tell people that I eat (only) raw meat. If they ask me, I tell them the truth. I don't really care about lying about something that doesn't affect anyone else but me. What they eat is their business. I get along just fine with vegetarians, vegans and cooked food eaters. And anyone else, eating whatever.

Don't hide who you are, others need to accept it or they shouldn't be near you in the first place. Don't force anyone else to do anything. You can try leading by example, perhaps pique their interest, and once that happens, then perhaps you can start introducing them to the foods you eat.

[sabertooth]

In a free world of equals one cant change peoples habits, all you can do is encourage people to adopt better habits.

How receptive people are to the influences of others varies greatly depending on many factors. My girlfriend is very intelligent but from an early age was brainwashed by vegetarian propaganda, and was also very fond of sugary foods. Gradually I was able to convince her of the dangers of processed soy protein, sugar, and processed foods, and got her to give up gluten and eat small amounts of quality cooked meats. She still eats foods like pizza and sweets,  but will at least use premium quality whole food ingredients.

If you cannot convince the people close to you to adopt a raw foods based diet, at least try to get them to understand and respect your personal choice, while doing what you can to encourage better cooked habits in them.

[TylerDurden]

There are always ways round. For example, go out to a sashimi restaurant(ie raw fish restaurant). Or, when dining out, always order steak tartare/beef-tartare or beef carpaccio or prosciutto crudo.If you are by the coast, well, raw oysters are considered to be superior to the cooked version by most cooked-eaters.  Or just ask for "cold on a cold plate" for yourself when in a restaurant- in the US, that means cooking meat for 10 seconds on each side, leaving the insides raw.

Converting people is a waste of time, unless they are eccentric enough to consider trying new ways on a frequent basis. However, I have managed to convince people to go in for sushi, for example, or, at least eat a high raw plant food, low-in-cooked-animal-food diet, along with some raw cheese. It's all a matter of stages. If your partner were in greater trouble, such as being in ill-health or being infertile, it would, of course, be much easier to persuade him.

[ys]

Sushi is not a good example.  As sushi is very popular and lots and lots of people eat them they clearly differentiate sushi from other meats.  When I tell them fish meat is the really the same as raw beef or lamb they do not buy the idea at all.  In their mind sushi and raw beef are very different things and there is nothing I say can change their mind.

[TylerDurden]

You miss the whole point. People have no issues at all with raw-meat-dishes which are acceptable to eat raw in local areas, especially if it's in a restaurant. So, eating raw, rotting herring is considered perfectly normal in Scandinavia, while Japanese prefer raw fish over cooked fish, and South Koreans(and some Chinese) even like their seafood raw and wriggling etc. Over in the West, raw oysters are, correctly, considered an aphrodisiac, while connoisseurs view raw cheese products as being far superior in taste to the pasteurised versions thereof.Using this concept can persuade people to go a little rawpalaeo, if not the whole way. If I were on a conversion-course, I would also heavily encourage regular long-term water-fasts in order to give the body enough time to do some detoxing of the constant intake of toxins derived from cooking etc.

[ys]

People have no issues at all with raw-meat-dishes which are acceptable to eat raw in local areas, especially if it's in a restaurant.

That's not what I see.  I know many people who regularly eat sushi but they will never touch raw meat even in the restaurants.  In fact, I do not know a single person who is even remotely interested ordering steak tar-tar.  But they will eat sushi any day.

[van]

be the example for others in terms of how you look and how they perceive you feel.  If you can get someone to read literature that seems science-based, some may be influenced.  But too often we want others to eat like we do for reasons that are quite different than what we might initially think.

[dair]

Thanks a lot all you for your input, very helpful.
He is a very stubborn person in most things, so not easy to try to change those habits. And in this city, veganism is very widespread, and he thinks that going towards veganism means eating more healthy. He wants to eat less meat, but all these oats, musli, bread, cookies are ok to him. I really try explain about grains, but somehow he does not take me seriously. He also has from time to time accute pain in the back because of inflammation (and a very bad mood because of the pain, which I can understand in a way), a herniated disc, and I try to explain that grains and dairy are not good for his problem, but somehow... it's like a big wall.
Somehow he needs to want to make the changes. He is that kind of person who has never had a sushi in his life, and absolutely never wants to try. I had my first sushi as 4 year old, I was lucky to have that kind of parents who where not afraid of new things. I think upbringing can have a huge inpact somehow.

[Apani]

Converting someone is nearly impossible, because one's mind will always be able to find motivations to justify whichever their alignment is.

Things like "Cooking helped humans make a big evolutionary leap" and "Cavemen died at 30" are just examples of what one's can come up with to justify anti RPD positions.

Not to mention that it's humiliating. I feel like a door-to-door salesman if I try to make my mother drink wine instead of beer at a restaurant. Even if I succeed, it won't stick.

I think I'll just let facts speak for themselves.
My parents know I eat raw meat (and they tell everyone, describing me as the weird relative of the family), so my only hope is that while their health keeps deteriorating and mine improving, they might one day become desperate enough to try out a paleo, if not raw, diet.
And if they won't... fine, it's their choice to feel miserable all the time and eat addicting food rather than feeling healthy and eating real food.

Anyhow, I wouldn't date a vegan... spending time getting attached to somebody who is prone to extremism and political brainwashing, never mind that with my diet I'm already vegan Satan, sounds like the recipe for disaster.

[TylerDurden]

Many people have told me that they would rather die than eat a raw-meat-type diet, and some of them duly did, often rather horribly.

There are 3 groups which generally are most likely to consider a RVAF diet:-

1) Those in real ill-health  who have tried virtually every other diet or health-routine and have only RVAF diets or even more eccentric notions such as Breatharianism left as options.

2) Raw vegans.Not all vegans go all-plant food because of loving animals, I was a vegan and then raw vegan prior to going rawpalaeo, and did those diets solely because I had such agonising stomach-aches after eating any cooked animal food in those days. Anyway, many people here and on other RVAF diet forums are ex-raw vegans.

3) Highly eccentric, highly creative individualists. I would say this was a more minor group, and that many such likely do not necessarily stay with RVAF diets on a permanent basis.

[Apani]

I guess I come from group 3.

First I went Paleo because I read very persuasive arguments on the internet, and saw big improvements (less sleepy in the morning, less anxiety, less mucus).
And since I already considered cooking as something to keep at a minimum to avoid carcinogens and loss of nutrients (rare chicken, anyone?  ), after a few months on Paleo, I told myself, "why not go all the way in?".

[dair]

Update: my nagging did pay off... My partner haven't smoked a cigarette since more than 2 weeks, stopped drinking alcohol and coffee completely (as he associated those 2 with nicotine). He eats less junk and frozen fastfoods (even though he is very very far from being on a real health trip, but I am kind of impressed with his changes), and I have pushed him some meat, as I know he really is fond of meat. We even have had raw (ground) beef together.
I see this as a step by step process. He now accepts that most vegetable oils are crap for instance, but when it comes to grains, this could take a long time. Anyway, his personality has become much nicer (especially after the initial week when he stopped smoking, when it was hell) and his back pain is much better.