Almost 4 weeks in! Whoooop! (any Aggies here?). I bought some ketone strips to check what was going on and tested low the first time and then moderate upon waking this morning.
The main thing I want from this diet, as I've mentioned multiple times before, is energy. I usually feel so slow, sluggish, listless and can get so angry for feeling this way. I thought that just changing the diet would do it all for me. Once I had my energy I would be able to do the other things in life that made me feel good.
I've had thoughts of doing just a small line of cocaine. How incredible it would make me feel! They call this euphoric recall. I've only done about 3 grams ever, which is amount that a cokehead could easily handle in one night but the intense, overwhelming feeling of pleasure is hard to forget. There were a few moments where I desperately wanted to clear up all this agonizing clutter in my head. Its like nearly instaneously I can do anything I want and know that I'm making the right decision. It really is a helluva drug, at least before you die from overdose.
I'm coming to terms with the fact that I must get myself moving and working without all that extra energy that I was hoping for. Every time I read my anxiety book and do the exercises I get a sense of relief, feel a bit renewed and get passionate about just doing something. I was feeling sleepy, with heavy eyelids yesterday around noonish and was scheduled to go the gym. Instead of forcing myself to go tired, I worked first on my anxiety and then went shortly after. I ended up having a good workout with good energy throughout.
I hadn't mentioned this yet, just forgot, but I was taking a low dose antidepressant (10mg lexapro) for two months which I stopped taking three days ago. It takes a couple weeks I believe to fully get out of your system so I won't know anything for awhile. It was doing nothing noticeable for me so why not chunk it and see where I'm at.
I also did a little yoga on dvd yesterday in the morning. I am quite inflexible, and feel tight all over my body. When I bend down to touch my toes my hamstrings start to hurt when my hands are about 6 inches above the ground and reaching for the ground is extremely painful. My globo gym also offers yoga so I'll be checking that out as well. I generally feel very relieved and peaceful after a session.
I'm also going to start eating more. I was being a bit foolish trying to keep my intake low. I got caught up in wanting to lose weight, which should have been low on my list. I do eventually want to lose the fat for jumping and explosion purposes in the sports that I will be doing but it isn't necessary now. I think I was averaging about 1.7 pounds of meat a day which is entirely way to low for me. I ate almost 3 pounds yesterday (about half a pound was cooked). I was forcing myself through hunger which I'm not going to do anymore. I had a good bit of slankers lamb shoulder which was probably the best tasting meat to date. It was also pretty fatty and I think I like lamb more than beef. I'll be sending out for another much bigger order on monday.
1/16
Bench DB - worked up to
100x5
105x4.5 - ooomph just barely failed last rep
Hang Power Snatch
bar work
95x2
115x2
135x1
145x1
150x1 PR!!
There was a time last year when I could not get 115 so this is huge
Deadlift - again was going to go for 345x4 but grip is failing
205x2
275x2
345x1
395x1 - alternate grip
345x1
I had good energy throughout but felt stiff at the same time