Relax.
Take a deep breath.
Do some of your exercises in your book.
You're just in a bad mindset at the moment; things will resolve themselves.
Lets see if we can ease some of the fears of the moment.
So, I have this fear of not be able to do anything right or the way its really supposed to be. For example, I'm taking these cheap betaine HCL pills right now. There is no set way of using them. I've looked online now on plenty of different sites with each of them recommending something slightly different. Some say take a bit before, some just say take it with the meal, some say to wait a period of time and then keep taking more and more until you feel a warmth or burning sensation in the gut. But, I feel I'm so insensitive to these types of feelings. I had 3 fking grams of HCL and didn't really feel anything a couple days ago. I then read another guys journal who would take a more HCL than this and still not feel anything but when he switched pills he noticed the burn much faster. So maybe he was overdosing before and damaging his gut. fuck my life, I can't figure this out. And then I've read other people say that they had to increase their HCL intake over time. fml again. And then theres the mg stearate issue. fml. Now I looked into getting pure powder hcl with none of the other filler junk, but this wont have the pepsin and it will taste quite bad. fml.
Cheap doesn't necessarily mean inefficient. Betain HCL is cheap stuff to make.
When my wife and I experimented with it we used Twinlab's Betaine HCL Caps with pepsin. They're 648mg HCL and 130mg pepsin. they were on sale at 2 bottle for $17.95. I purchased the Twinlab brand because I've always had good luck with their products I used in the past.
We took one capsule immediately following the meal. Then one further capsule every 10-15 minutes after that until we felt either a burn in the back of the throat or heat in the stomach. I was desensitized to the feeling so took 2 or 3 I think the first time and had pretty vicious heartburn. The second time I felt it after one and determined I don't need them. My wife took numerous caps before she felt it but it was a clear heat in the stomach for her.
If you didn't feel anything I think you need it. It's possible the strength of the capsules isn't as advertised but I don't think there's any way you'd get that much HCL in you and not feel anything unless you were deficient.
There's no logical reason one would have to increase their dosage. If they did then they have something else continuing to impair their digestion and in fact making it worse.
I could give a damn about magnesium stearate. If the HCL is a working means to an end for someone then that outweighs this particular filler in my mind.
and now it looks like I have all sorts of mineral diffeciences. What mg should I take. What zinc do I need. I have lots of symptoms of heavy metal poisoning. Now do I have to follow all these steps at curezone to get rid of this shit? what if I do that wrong and get the metals moved to other more important parts of my body and not out? fml.
What symptoms?
Many heavy metal poisoning symptoms are present in plenty of other problems.
I wouldn't worry about it at the moment. If there's any heavy metal there it can wait a bit longer while you balance yourself a bit more.
What about coenzyme q10 and fermented cod liver oil and dolomite and bone meal and french green clay and raw egg yolks and effects of freezing on nutrients and the effects of having frozen meat wrapped in sheets of plastic for weeks. fml, fml, fml, fml!!!
The single worst thing for your body is stress & worry.
There are plenty of things that work for people in wonderful ways out there but it's all a mixed bag.
You've admitted before that you can get fixated on things; you're doing that right now. IMO you need to keep to the basics of raw paleo and then you can try whatever you like as a supplement. It's really hard to figure out if the supplement helps if you don't know exactly what your baseline feels.
I have 10 fillings Im pretty sure are filled with mercury amalgam. I remember having chunks of the fillings stay in my mouth after the fillings were put in. Do I get these removed.
You could. It's a drastic & costly move if you're not sure it's a problem.
Do I reshape my jaw.
See above.
My eyes are permenantly bloodshot and have pinguecula. Wtf does this mean?
I have no idea, maybe someone else does.
Im pretty sure my fat to protein ratio during the first 2 months was 50:50 at best and probably worse. Probably explaining my incessant hunger all the time. Now I'm going to be eating a lot of marrow. What if the marrow isnt saturated enough, what if the suet is too saturated. fml.
If it was off then you adjust. Better to know now then 6 months from now. It would explain the hunger. To satisfy my curiosity what ratio (by volume) and types were you eating?
I've personally developed a real taste for marrow recently whereas I couldn't stand it before. I look at it that my body wants more soft fats right now as opposed to the harder suet I'd been eating.
I don't think there's such a thing as not saturated enough for a fat. You can always eat more of a soft fat if you need to. Suet can obviously be too saturated for some but it shouldn't be too hard to tell by your bathroom habits.
I have trouble frequently completing sentences and will literally have sentences trail off into nothingness everday. Sometimes I just stop speaking in the middle of a sentence. I feel so awkward. Who else cant complete sentences?
I used to do that a lot and I do still do it some.
Even when I write here I'm constantly erasing and editing and rereading. Nothing really flows. Im scared this will remain the rest of my life. I can't let go and just let my brain work in a relaxed state.
I was that way in the past. Things work better now and they are still improving. I know it's redundant and not what you want to hear right now but have faith.
Well theres a lot more to my rant, but stuff like this goes through my head everyday. I feel so confused and I absolutely hate it. I've never been organized and it just annoys me that I have so many unanswered questions. I can actually logically challenge and counter lots of these assertions I made above pretty easily which will ease their burden greatly. But I just felt like spilling more out here. I always find a way to see the negative or filter out the positives in any situation. Ha, thats one thing Im confident about.
Years ago I used to be one of the most cynical and negative people in the world. It just came about as a result of my very depressed immune-system (which led to mental depression, in hindsight, for a long time). I was angry at the world, very touchy with my mood, quick to anger, and quicker to violence. I get joked with now about being too positive and seeing the positive lining in everything/everyone.
Diet did some of the mending and positive thinking did the rest.
After all this, my overall energy level is improving though clearly I'm still anxious as hell and feel very unsure about most everything.
This is quite possibly another sign that your protein to fat ratio is too high. Give a high volume of fat as marrow a shot and see how you feel in a week.
