Round 2: From addiction to recovery

[KD]

i'll have to be the contradictory evidence on the last point. My elimination is almost always effortless on this diet and usually regular (on rare occasions just eating meat/fat theres a day or two absence but still never hard) lacking any fiber - even by convectional standards. Although I have done my share of bowel cleanses/and squat(havn't sat on a toilet in years) so that factors in I suppose. I think the raw dairy has its pros at least in this department also FWIW. My health/strength etc.. seems to be about the same though. At least your finding positives, even if you havn't located exactly the rights formulas yet.

as for enemas I would suggest trying a few water-only first.

make sure the water is not too hot (to avoid damage, but also makes one want to release instantly) and generally good to start off with way less water than most people recommend. At first it real is a pain-in-the-ass. (ha!) to get used to holding the water in for any length of time that is beneficial.

[KD]

I was also considering your brain and bone marrow diet and according to this system it says to use bones sparingly. There's so much conflicting info out there...

[Paleo Donk]

I think an important fact about the zombie diet is that its all draped in blood just like the fresh meat would have been in paleolithic times. If we truly were apex hunters then I would have assumed we would have adapted to needing to get at least part of our nutrition from the blood which is noticeably absent in all the meat that I consume and perhaps the reason why so many people have magnesium, salt, iodine, etc.. deficiencies and a possible reason why it could be important to supplement with these for life. But, I have no clue as to how much blood is consumed after a freshly slaughtered animal today or how much nutrition is in such blood. Zombies have no ego either, which further points to more brain consumption.

I rigged my bowel movement statement so that it almost necessarily has to be true. Perhaps you can step in again with first hand info. Having easy eliminations does not necessarily translate into good eliminations. Many of bowel movements are easy and relatively free of effort, just not well formed (again, whatever that is) which I think usually points to something going wrong - I can't imagine a case where a faulty elimination does not at least hint at malfunction even if it is just dietary transition.


Theres a really cool vid below of a white man eating a reindeer with plenty of blood.
http://www.rawpaleoforum.com/general-discussion/man-eating-raw-raindeer-liver-and-blood-straight-after-the-kill/

[KD]

to get into more detail, I would say fully formed, sometimes they even have wide diameter. Occasionally they are somewhat thinner or not in one single 'log' of course. But I don't see that is being abnormal or far from any ideal. I've never once seen undigested matter or or fat and usually things seem pretty drained of hue(not reddish). I've had spurts of worse/diarrhea type elimination of course, but that is becoming less frequent. for awhile eggs or poultry seemed to really trigger this, especially in my last bout with raw.

I hear you on poor elimination (however one defines it) is an indicator of ill-health, but I don't think the converse - good elimination = perfect health to be true. I mean, alot of high crapping vegans would qualify.

*brains...*

[djr_81]

I love you guys. (We need a laughing smiley)
Only here could that image be posted and be both handled with the dry humor it was as well as make you think twice since it does have so much of our diet in it.

[KD]

The blood conversation is interesting.

I have always wondered if vampires - being immortalists - have less caloric needs than short-lived zombies, who seem to have requirements similar to a growing child. Although we might count ourselves lucky, as vampires - while they can survive on smaller animals like chickens and rats - tend to become thin/malnourished over time which causes moodiness and seclusion. A vicious cycle. In the modern period there are more claims from vampires about EMF sensitivities, but many are grateful for the advent of vitamin D-supplementation and freezable blood, which is the real conspiracy behind blood drives

zombies appear to have similar nutritional stores as well, as I have seen them endlessly walk around shopping malls and never give in to cooked or processed foods. Occasionally they might try to convey angrily (interpreted only by an expert zombie-nutritionist though intonation of their only vocabulary:"brains...") that the soil is not as good as it used to be and therefore brains are not exactly top quality.

but out of all the studies in NAPD, zombies are the only ones who have actually grown more agile and sharp both mentally and physical in the modern period.

in fact, many are actually moving away from their native Haiti in search of poorer quality genetically altered food sources which provide shorter bursts of stimulation and increased sense of being 'alive'.

[Paleo Donk]

DJR, appreciate the props on my dry humor

KD, Amazing post. I never thought of working at a blood drive. Maybe I'll try it out this summer.

Speaking of said summer, I'm thinking of going some place outside the US for a month or so to a country where fresh meat is easily available. I'm thinking southeast Asia, maybe the phillipines as Goodsamaratin's posts seem to indicate his country is quite raw paleo friendly. Any other suggestions?

I still feel pretty decent even with quite a bit of the cooked garbage. I'm also feeling quite strong, with results at the gym improving. Part of this is probably directly related to weight gain which I think is related to improved uptake of nutrition. I deadlifted 435 and pressed 155x4, both personal bests. My press has been stalled for months now, so this is really nice to see. My weight is varying quite a bit with the feasting and random fasting, was a pound short of 200 at the gym.

I think I've noticed a connection - that no matter how much I eat, I will still have a desire to consume raw fat and it seems that it is only raw fat that will eventually get rid of my cravings. And its usually the raw hard fat that does the trick.

I gave myself a saline-filled enema and was only able to hold it in for 30s or so. I'm up to 6 drops of iodine (13mg) and can't notice a difference.

[Paleo Donk]

I'm still angry as hell and fairly fatigued both physically and mentally. It seems to be all a vicious cycle. I am fatigued and so I get agitated and angry easily. Virtually everything can make me angry. I hate not being able to get something right. I take myself very seriously, though nobody recognizes this. Literally every person that knows me thinks I am very easy going, nonchalant character, not afraid to be a little different. But inside, I'd really like to beat the shit out of so many people. I never do though and have never really gotten close.

My anger makes me feel so alive, so worth living, its such a drug for me. I finally get the energy I want and my mind clears right up. There is no headache or any pains. Its all so clear, except that I have a limited capacity to think rationally. I have noticed that my energy levels remain higher after an anger episode for a short time. And this is when I can act beautifully and human. But, the stress takes its toll on me and I believe fatigues me further setting me up again for more anger to alleviate the pain.

I've read so many anger books, have so many journal entries and worksheets filled out which all help at the time, but the quickness to anger remains so entrenched in me. I remember being violently angry when I was 5 years old and lost a game of complete luck of shoots and ladders against my dad. Its like I have been predisposed to getting angry and nobody really understands. I can never consistently do all the book work and meditation and journaling and affirmations and visualizations and all the other coping skills I have read over now so many times to shake free from the quickness to anger.

I am inclined to believe that I just need to accept the fact that I will get angry and that nearly everything can get me angry. I can't control it. The one thing I do like about myself is that I always admit whenever I am wrong, probably too much, but I have no problem apologizing and compromising.

I can compare my anger to the cycle that mercury and candida run through. Apparently candida is quite helpful for those who are poisoned with mercury transforming the toxic version of mercury into something less toxic. http://www.cfspages.com/fire.html  My fatigue gets transformed into something usable with anger.

But I am confident. I will beat the shit out of whatever the fuck is keeping me tired. I will find a solution. I am never giving up.

[bonebroth]

Paleo Donk, have you considered your immediate environment? Where you live. Does it support, enhance or rob you of power? Or is it neutral?

[Paleo Donk]

BB, you bring up a good point about my immediate environment. It seems the more time I spend online the more depressed I am and the correlation seems to be pretty strong. Theres only so many poor posts by Paleo Phil that I can tolerate. The next couple weeks I should be offline a good deal as my brother is coming in town and I'm very much looking forward to this.

I'm confirming my belief that HCL supplementation is most likely not helpful long term, though it can potentially be a life saver when used intermittently. I've been reading more on digestive bitters such as grape, sweedish and chinese that supposedly more naturally stimulate the digestive juices and will start experimenting with these soon. I have a feeling long-term HCL use is damaging.

Heres a good post on the bitters - http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=1445785#i

I am also going to buy some gold coin grass (made from traditional chinese herbs) which has reportedly helped many with better liver flushing from sensiblehealth.com

I just bought this grape bitter- http://www.vitacost.com/productResults.aspx?ss=1&Ntk=products&Ntt=grape%20bitter

Also just did my first coffee enema. I wasn't able to hold it in for more than a couple minutes but my abdomen was going a little crazy shaking around. The urge to expel was very strong even after using a saline enema right before. I'll try it again soon.

[klowcarb]

I am sorry you are having a hard time, Paleo Donk. From my point of view, if you have the degree of anger you note, you still come across here as very interesting and thoughtful. Maybe give yourself some more credit. You have not acted on your impulses (i.e. punching someone in the face), so you seem to be in control of your anger.

You might just be missing a hobby or passion that would re-direct your focus. For me, besides raw ZC, lifting and hiking are my passions. I can get lost for hours reading about lifting, or actually lifting, and going and taking walks alone. I also enjoy reading a lot.

[Paleo Donk]

Thanks Kate, that kind of support is very helpful and you are right that I am very bad at giving myself any credit, I'm almost always on the lookout for any way I can to make myself feel bad or perhaps alive. Unfortunately I am very largely driven by my ego which really sucks my energy and proceeds to judge everything so harshly. I realize that am constantly on the look out on how to correct the faults of those around me, no matter how much correctness their message contains. I am searching for a battle and can always find one. There really is no cleverness involved, its purely egotistical. I guess you could categorize me as a passive aggressive egomaniac when I'm in the wrong state of mind which seems to have been quite a bit of the time the last month or so.

I've been trying to curtail this egomania by attempting to look at the whole of one's response. In person, this is very easy to do as their is much more information streamed in at one time - tone of voice, facial expressions - which gives me more to analyze but which give more human qualities to the individual thus making me appreciate a response for all that it is worth. I accept much more than I judge. I think this is where playing poker comes in handy. Poker has forced me to monitor and scrutinize every detail during the game, which when applied to life outside the poker table has given me much practice in finding strategies that more efficiently lead to optimal decision making. You see, when money is on the line people quickly either put up or shut up and this kind of mindset forms the foundation of my posts.  

For instance, if you would ask almost any mainstream western doctor what they thought the correct path would be for getting rid of symptoms for your epileptic child, I would assume their strategy would be almost entirely based upon prescription drugs.

Now, I step in and propose to the doctor an alternative method of healing, say a raw ketogenic diet. His first response would most likely be to quickly dismiss my proposal and get on with his life. But, I don't go away and instead sweeten the deal and offer him an even money bet of 50 dollars that my way of healing would be better (whatever way you want to define better in this situation, its not important here). He would probably accept this wager seeing it is a good deal for him. But, right before I shake his hand to complete the ordeal I up the bet to 100,000 dollars. Now, he is forced to change his mind. Even if he thinks very highly of his method of healing he might not want to take up the  bet which is understandable. But then, I offer him 2 to 1 odds on his money meaning he only has to risk 50k against  my 100k. He might still not want to take the bet. I then sweeten the deal even more and offer 10:1, meaning he must only believe that his method of healing has at least a 10% chance of being right for him to want to take up the bet. At this point, he should be thinking either, how easily he will make money off me or how little he knows of alternative methods of healing if someone is willing to give such tremendous odds to some radical method of healing that he knows little about.

The point of this little story is that people will change their opinions when they are forced to wager money. The money really exacerbates the  path to the truth. Poker is exactly this, you make your decisions based almost entirely on how much money you would like to make/save on every hand. The best players seem to have little ego, or at least show it the least. They don't seem to get too high or too low and take their losses with their wins. I unfortunately had extremely horrible lows and just moderate highs when I played swinging back and forth wildly.

I actually started studying for the MCAT - the medical entrance exam in the US early last year. I did not want to go to medical school. I wanted to get as many interviews as possible and rip into the medical board with everything that I had gathered. I wanted to throw an arsenal of true methods of healing in their face. Make them to feel my anger from all the bad advice and wasted money that they had bestowed upon me and my parents. A huge ego trip to say the least. I actually got about half-way through the material before quitting to play poker and drink.

Interestingly enough I had a very good weekend with my brother and his friend down in Tampa. I was away from the computer (I'm so certain my addiction to the forum message boards is really slowing my recovery) for the most part and managed to have that sense of control and peace of mind that makes me feel human. I've also had decently good days at school this week, managing to clearly elucidate my feelings and thoughts with a few students. The brain fog lifted for quite some time.

As I said previously, I still see mistakes in so many posts, definitely including my own, and I think the best strategy is simply to ignore them as most of the time they don't really matter or affect the final decision even if they are mostly wrong.

Expanding further on my proposition bet with the physician. I think this is the best method to convert the modern western medical field to include other more beneficial methods of healing. If we can make a large enough public proposition about something as sure as childhood epileptics being cured with a raw ketogenic diet we could generate tons of publicity. Imagine putting up a multimillion dollar bet against the medical community giving them tremendous odds. The truth would come out. It will follow the money.

[KD]

I used to have major anger towards the medical establishment/delusions that I would somehow save lots of people. I dunno, somewhere along the line I was introduced to the ideal of being "incredibly spiritually greedy' for my own healing, as worded by a friend of mine, and lost all thought of helping others on any mass scale or even for individual level for those who were probably entirely uninterested. I've had moments where people asked me what my secret was or whatever cliche, and I hope they didn't follow anything I said because eventually I changed my tune altogether myself. Now I think if I have 5+ years of increasing health on one empirical routine, I might be more vocal towards others, but probably still on a passive, individual level.

I think its normal for people to stumble on ideas or actual practices that have benefit in their lives and immediately want to share them. But its quite clear that not all of these solutions or individuals are right or right for the long term. There are many people with many divergent ideas and experiences - and of course some ARE just jerks or morons - but largely any conflicts that go beyond simple back and forth are usually some kind of 'Control Drama' within the individual(s). There are some that go as far to say that the 'individuals' and situations are actually things we create because we are addicted to these kind of situations in some weird way and it supplies some kind of inner need. I don't fully agree, but generally if someone is 100% at peace with themselves and their ways, theres nothing really to defend or be threatened by, even in the face of complete ignorance. Of course, when others are on the line, one gets the sensation/need to keep setting the record strait with such 'person', but that goes back to the whole saving others thing.

But in a sense that is just a bunch of philosophical jabber, like you say in the internet especially there is 0 consequence of providing shitty information or changing their hand arbitrarily, but I think one can assume a little faith that most people (especially in a very specific group like here) are really meaning their best, and faith that others WILL call BS on them (or just sense it themselves). So there is something to be grateful  here, as opposed to other forums that have consent tennis like contention amongst people less stable and knowledgeable.

[Paleo Donk]

My main criticism of the medical establishment in the US is not necessarily against their methods of healing, which probably saved my life a few years ago (more on this later), but with their arrogance and wholly unacceptable approach to determining the best possible solution to a health crisis. If I were a healer(this term seems so much better than doctor), I would like to think I would look at all possible methods of healing and inform those coming to me for healing of the many paths available and their respective chance at dealing with the crisis on hand. I probably went to over 10 different doctors and therapists over a two year period and not one asked me about my diet and my number one complaint had always been massively low energy. Western medicine certainly has its place in healing and has saved countless lives, its simply just a small slice of what is out there. I don't understand its attitude and that is what I wanted to attack. I never felt comfortable asking something that might interfere with doctors opinion. This is perhaps my own flaw, but I would like to think that I would make sure that my patient could be very open to discussion about healing methods. It seems so awkward and out of place to even think about questioning a doctors advice. Not even really question but to even have an open discussion.

I am not into advice giving and have never told anyone to follow a diet like me, but I will point out some things that I know for sure that nobody pointed out to me when I was going through my troubles. Seriously, not one doctor even informed me that there could be a connection between diet and health. The only thing I really tell people is to cut out refined sugars and if they listen to that I inform them that processed grains are the next to go. From there I don't really say anything unless they are family. Though I do think there is nothing wrong with informing the very sick, those most in need of advice and most likely to do something radical of advice since they are about to die. There is a huge difference here that I hope most people see and I completely disagree with the viewpoint of never giving advice unless another person specifically asks for it. I'm not sure anyone feels that way anyways but there is, like always, more than a black and white scenario here. The strategy for advice giving changes at some point.

I agree with you about the 'control drama' and am very guilty of this. I like to play the devil's advocate card too much and already extrapolated on this idea on my above post. I am hoping this is just a step in my journey that once I feel healthier I will be less dramatic because I'll be less tired. Being outside and amongst friends is my best cure for this right now.


Now onto the part where my life got saved. I actually don't even think about this anymore, pretty much ever but about 6 years ago there was a small lump on one of my testicles. I actually noticed it a couple years before but was too shy to point it out to my doctor, but it had grown enough and I suppose the term 'grew some balls' applies too literally here that I finally did ask my doctor about it. I got an ultrasound and sure enough it had to be taken out. This was back when I believed US doctors were all knowing and infallible. I remember my dad wanting to see if there were another way out of surgery. I got so mad at him for questioning the doctors opinion. How could he even think about questioning this man's opinion. Seriously, hes a fucking doctor, and my life is now on the line (though there were no signs of cancer yet), why are you going to even think about questioning him? How completely ironic that now I would be the one questioning everything.

Well, after getting my testicle guillotined, I went to basically every type of doctor we have to see what I could do about my chronic fatigue.

Cardiologist - EKG and stress test (where you walk and then run on a treadmill to test something..) They supposedly found out that I had mitrol valve prolapse- which from wiki states that it is prevalent in 38% of active males. The doc didnt make me think it was that bad. Just that I had to take antibiotics before going to the dentist because bacteria could leach into the bloodstream - though I just found an article now that says these antibiotics are useless for this.

Pulmonologist - did a test where you blow as hard as you can into a tube for a few seconds. I could never last the full length of time here, so the docs concluded my breath strength was fine. This guy did recommend me seeing a psychologist. I remember him just nodding his head at me when I told him my symptoms like he knew I was fucked in the head. I still have trouble holding a note when singing, especially multiple notes in a row, like I run out of breath real easy.

Ear, Nose and Throat(ENT)- I did all sorts of tests here. They would numb my nostrils and then stick a small camera up inside my nose. My adenoids were enlarged as I recall and I was prescribed some nasal spray that was going to supposedly shrink them. There was even a possibility of surgery to correct them.

Dentist - I did a breathing test with my jaw shifted forward and apparently this showed that I had some obstruction that would be fixed if I slept with a device that pulled my bottom teeth forward. Well, I was fitted for this mouthpiece that yanks your jaw forward at night allowing more air to come in. I think I lasted one night with it on and I was afraid it would permanently move my jaw forward, which actually makes a big difference in your appearance. And this dentist actually shaved some of the inside of my molars down with the supposed  effect of having my tongue sit farther down allowing more airflow. This did not work and now I have slanted molars.

Sleep studies - I did two of these where you spend a night in a room attached to a bunch of different electrodes sending back all sorts of info. I never saw a doctor for either of these tests. The results were simply shipped to another much less qualified doctor to interpret them. I was prescribed a CPAP machine - a device thats like a ventilator that blows air into your mouth to prevent you from having sleep apnea. I must have been the thinnest, youngest person ever to get prescribed this machine. I had a couple different ENT's look at the results and each one of them determined something different that either I had sleep apnea or I did not.

Dermatologist - Said I could have acne till I was 80. I bought all the creams, though never really used them.

Internist - the only guy that actually sat down with me and talked to me like a human. I asked for addreall and he gave me some. Adderall and coke are the only drugs/devices that I have seen any benefit from. He also told me the mouth-piece for moving my jaw forward was not good.

Opthamologist - to check to see if I had wilsons disease characterized mainly by an a problem with excess copper and extreme signs showing up with a ring in the iris - hmmmm...maybe iridology does have its place somewhere. I didn't have wilsons thankfully and I am in the process of getting the results to see exactly how much copper I excreted over 24 hours which is I believe what lead them to think I might have wilsons in the first place. I wasn't interested in any of this stuff back when it happened as I just mindlessly followed the docs advice.

4 psychologists and an anger therapist - I always felt good after going to a therapy session, its just once a week sessions don't really do that much when you are really depressed. I did get prescribed some antidepressants finally which did seem to work but I could never keep up with them and they got lost. I was taking some antidepressants at the beginning of the journal which perhaps were helping but I gave them up too sensing they could be doing long-term damage.

I also had lots of blood tests that I will be sorting through when I go back to Houston next week that may give me a bit more info. My mom told me I had elevated levels of bilirubin which indicate some biliary malfunction/congestion of some sort and I'll be looking to cleanse my liver more with digestive bitters, apple cider vinegar, chinese bitters, castor oil packs, egg yolks and finally liver flushing which I will resume once I have my diet in place.

[KD]

Yeah, I didn't think your critique is wrong or misplaced, especially from my own experience and reading other testimonials online.

As for the diet connection, this is something that does of course deserve a way higher place in mass consciousness, not to be distorted by the same medical myths i.e. more whole grains for health etc...

I thought your idea of going on interviews was actually really clever. I think my scenarios were more V For Vendetta-ish, heh. But I've seen alot of other raw food folks take on a mission-mindset and losing track of their previous passions or even eventually losing touch with their own health progress in pursuit of what they believe to be truths. Then their are the David Icke types, that seem to thrive on conspiracy, critique, and negativity as their staff of life. So somewhere along my path I finally realized the words 'truth' meant very little in comparison to what works in the moment.

Other than whatever the forum policy is, I don't think advice giving is wrong. I know you posted something before about this, but I've never seen your posts come across as 'diagnosing' others problems. In others 9:10 its phrasing that makes all the difference and the persons experience of course. Like there was that one guy here was saying everyone's problems were kidney issues because of excess red meat. Well ok, it would be one thing if this guy ran some raw meat retreat and had done various surveys and tests, but this guy hadn't even done weeks on RAF. I agree with you that Rooney should NOT have been booted, I think that shows more the bias on this site or possibly his eccentricity than any negatively towards giving advice. Advice is given in almost every post.

--
I had some very similar experiences, except in my case I had a doc when I was not even I college yet dismiss my self-inspection, and year later the treatments had become far more severe, which then led to just a massive spiral of issues. When I had a reoccurrence years later which had a 5% chance of happening, the doctors at least admitted it was pretty much 100% due to botching the first treatment. When I had a massive hip problem later, the doctor at Hospital for Special Surgery in NYC (pretty much the premier pace for physical medicine) said I needed an immediate hip replacement because of the second treatment. At that point I finally declined and got into diet and cleansing and things. So, in my case, I still have anger and frustration with the fallout, but if things had been different, my life would have been equally so, I might not have moved away at all or had any of the other experiences that I did, and I might have lived in sub-par health indefinitely instead of ever making any serious decisions about change.

But yeah, some of this shit is just plain barbaric. The worst anecdote was one time I got this diagnostic where they they injected blue dye though 12 inch needles in between all my toes. It was totally excruciating as one can guess. Later I asked my doctor about it and he was like, "yeah, I dunno, we didn't really need that info."

[cherimoya_kid]

I agree with you that Rooney should NOT have been booted, I think that shows more the bias on this site or possibly his eccentricity than any negatively towards giving advice. Advice is given in almost every post.

Rooney did not fact check.  We appreciate fact-checking here.

More to the point, a good 50% of what he said was clearly wrong.  10-20% of what he said was not just wrong, but insanely, extremely, hyperbolically crazy AND wrong.

Also, he posted like crazy. 

When posters start posting that much, they nearly always go off the deep end and have to be reined in.

It got really irritating (to me and the other mods) to have him constantly posting both so much and often so non-factually.

In retrospect, an ideal system for someone like Rooney would be having all of his posts moderated and monitored BEFORE they are posted.  That would cut down on both the inaccuracy issues AND the excessive posting.

[KD]

Well perhaps my own facts are wrong here. Perusing pages of back posts I now have more of a mixed review. Some seems pretty harmless and well intentioned to me, even if it was 100% wrong. The derailing and contentious loling are a bit different. Plus any use of the word 'sheeple' deserves some kind of instant and preferably physical punishment IMO. I actually wasn't even aware of the ban, didn't see any drama, and I had figured it was just the talk of blackholes, evolution/eugenics, and various remedies and such, which ultimately no one can know conclusively about. I was trying to communicate that giving advice isn't the problem itself, when coming from experience or facts as you say.

[Paleo Donk]

KD, thanks for the post above. I can't imagine the anger and resentment I would have in your case, though my multiple readings of my anger management books has helped me alleviate this to some degree. Also, I appreciate the patience for waiting for a response. It usually takes quite some time for me to make a post. Its a challenge to get the thoughts from my head down to the keyboard.

My brother also thinks I am highly addicted to the forum message boards. Thanks to the data tracking here on rpf I have spent 8 complete days of my life on this forum not to mention the probable several more days not accounted for as a guest when i went online at school. I'm going toto try spending as little time as possible online and especially this message board in the coming weeks. If this fails I will just stop coming here altogether for a set time period.

As for rooney - he was very annoying and posted complete garbage quite a bit. Its too bad he didn't get himself a journal and put all his nonsense in there. There was a place for him here, just in small doses.

[Paleo Donk]

Ok, now to something interesting. My mom saved all my blood tests from 6 years ago when I was going through my testicular cancer scare. Out of the 30+ parameters tested, 3 were consistantly out of range.

Bilirubin total 2.3, 2.1, 1.7 mg/dl      range (.1-1.2)
ALT - 99, 63, 56  IU/L   range (0-40)
Ceruloplasim 15.1,15.5  range  (16-35)

Elevated bilirubin is associated with obstructed bile ducts and Gilberts disease.

ALT are liver enzymes - Significantly elevated levels of ALT often suggest the existence of other medical problems such as viral hepatitis, congestive heart failure, liver damage, bile duct problems, infectious mononucleosis, or myopathy. For this reason, ALT is commonly used as a way of screening for liver problems (from wiki)

Low ceruloplasim could indicate wilsons disease- can be characterized by an inability of liver cells to excrete copper into the blood stream. Not coincidently my serum copper levels were measured on the very low range.

The docs suggested an ultrasound of the liver which I had and showed a probable small hemangioma which are apparently not that serious and could have resolved itself over time and be responsible for the poor blood results. I advised to get a CT scan but I don't think I ever got one.

I think its interesting that these tests show that there is possible bile-duct obstruction and that my attempts at cleansing my liver could potentially lead to something special. I did have further blood tests done two years later and bilirubin levels dropped to the high-end and ALT levels were well within normal range so maybe the poor results were just tempoary. I did test on the very-low end of white blood cell count 3.9K/uL which was reported again just a few months ago in rehab.

[Paleo Donk]

Went to a homeopath who also has his MD for the hell of it. I am extremely skeptical of these types of healers but figured it probably wouldn't hurt and going to these types of healers follows under my number one rule of healing which is - You must know of a method of healing before you can apply it.  Had an hour long consultation where I talked about myself. He was very interested in all I had to say and asked me a good number of questions and really focused in on my anger. Towards the end he gave me this very optimistic look and said something like, "I think I know how to help you". I sensed in his eyes that he was trying to provoke some kind of reaction out of me but I didn't budge.

He then went on to say that the medication he was going to give was going to make my anger go away like "poof" and he actually raised his hand and did a little poof signal with his fingers like a magician does right before he makes the rabbit disappear out of a hat. He told me I wouldn't have to do anything else - no anxiety exercises or anything. I mean, how much more of a quack was he trying to sound like?

He went back somewhere in his office and came back with these small white pellets inside a small cylindrical tube and indeed did something even more quackish - once he came back into the room he immediately came next to me to attempt to throw some of the white pellets into my mouth.  I hesitated naturally for a couple seconds before giving in - its not like I wasn't going to try them anyways. The funny thing was that he wasn't even going to tell me what was in the "medication". I had to ask. WTF? How come you fucks aren't upfront and honest about what you are putting in my body??? Its like the only healers I've found that actually care about me are a part of this message board and I'm eternally thankful for that.

Well, he told me the magic pellets contained Nux Vomica which I of course researched right when I got home - they are made from the seeds of a fruit found in SE Asia and are another digestive bitter that should help with digestion so at least his magic bean sounds like its on the right track for me. I'm going to give it try and see what happens. There is no way in hell this is going to work but whatever, maybe I should try and maximize the placebo effect.

I went to a gastroenterologist today and did some more liver panels which should be interesting to see if the above parameters have changed. He actually ordered me a sigmoid colon endoscopy, because of the rectal bleeding I had mentioned and a liver ultrasound to check the hemangioma. I ignored this for now.

[cherimoya_kid]

Keep us updated, Paleo Donk.  I have anger issues sometimes, and I'd be interested to hear if these pills work.

[Paleo Donk]

Still angry as ever. The only thing that works for me is expressing my feelings with the help of a book or another person. These work very well actually, but I have to practice daily which I fail at.

Quick notes

- Texas is great. There are cows grazing within walking distance of my house and I live only 30 min from downtown Houston.
- I have found a source (there are many) for beef fat and eggs. And even might be able to be around for the slaughtering of a small animal. So there is hope for fresh meat and blood!
- I had honeycomb from a local farm so finally for sure raw honey. The comb was still in the rectangular tray. The farmer let me scoop out as much honeycomb as I wanted with a spoon. It was amazing and much darker than any honey I've gotten yet. He didn't even sell the comb? I was too shy to ask for the whole thing. Which might be a good thing, honey is still addicting though not as strong as before.
- I'm trying to spend as much time out in the sun with as little clothes as possible. I think sunlight could be a pretty big missing link for my health. I don't have a job now so this is easy.
- I took a hot bath with 2 cups epsom salt, 1 cup baking soda and about half a cup H2O2. I soaked for 10-15 minutes and sweat quite a bit. Felt the same afterwards.
- There seems to be a good biologic dentist in the Houston area and I am aiming to get my amalgam fillings out by summers end.
- I have never worked on mobility or flexibility much at all and am trying out an assortment of different drills and stretches as I believe I am horribly inflexible and have quite a few minor aches and pains. Heres my starting point - http://www.marksdailyapple.com/how-to-maintain-shoulder-mobility-and-scapular-stability/#more-12665
I'll be looking to do all the programs - for thoracic spine, hips, ankles and wrists, and shoulders over the next few weeks.
- I'm thinking about working on one of those self-sustaining farms in another country. I don't have a clue of what they are about just kind of heard a couple stories here and there. Let me know if you have any additional info!

[Paleo Donk]

I think wodgina's (I find this name hysterical by the way) campaign for settling demons of the mind as first and foremost is striking multiple chords with me lately. In fact, I'm fairly certain that I could probably handle any reasonable diet as long as long as I had a comprehensive daily plan for dealing with my depression and anxiety. No dietary change has had much of any effect on me and the only thing that has ever really produced results is calming my mind and expressing my emotions.

I get no rush or high from doing this, just peaceful mindfulness. I figured I am young enough that my body can cope with a fairly bad diet as long as my mind exercises are in tune. I think the diet is more of just a very long term insurance plan as many people, probably most don't have many symptoms of disease until over 50. Many people came to this diet after having much, much more difficult health issues than I.

This is not to discount any diet its just that I really need to put more effort into feeling good about myself. I think I was fooled into thinking that a change in diet could have an immediate impact on my health with my first round of low carb. I did get a rush, an unnatural spike in energy that I thought would sustain me the rest of my life, but it turned out to be false. There is no magic pill (in the homeopathic sense), or even perfect diet that will help me (at least not in the short run). A holistic, comprehensive approach to settling the mind does do wonders for me and surely my digestion as well.

And the hard part is actually over. I know what to do to make myself feel better. I was lost for quite some time with some severely bad anxious moments years ago.

[djr_81]

I agree with you. Each of us has different pasts and different courses of action we need to take.
It does seem in your case dealing with the depression and anxiety needs to come foremost.
A number of us here have found ourselves at greater ease emotionally by diet and exercise alone but it's not a guarantee it will work or it will help that you won't need other work to settle yourself.
You've mentioned a number of times in the past that your book work gives you the greatest benefits. Maybe you should re-prioritize your focus and make therapy number one followed by exercise and diet.

[Paleo Donk]

Thanks for the agreement and yes re-prioritizing is something that is important for me to do. My sister told me today that she knows I'm constantly in thought and angry. I had a really good day letting out some emotions that had been tangled up inside me with my family - crying can feel so good.

I should also mention that removal of amalgam fillings and liver flushing or parasite cleansing or whatever will not reverse depression or anxiety and are too just long term practices towards good health.

I have been doing quite a good amount of stretching lately and I suppose have been feeling a bit more limber and was feeling pretty good today and decided to run some sprints. I ran several 40 yard dashes and the lowest I was timed was 4.48, timed on approximate first movement. This seems rather fast, so theres a good chance that something wasn't right as timing the start has a huge impact on the time. Regardless I was pleased with my results, especially so being on grass and barefoot. I felt fast, fluid and pain free. I also broad jumped 108" which was pretty good too.

Find me on facebook if you want - Teddy Petrou