Journalistica

[Cinna]

Sorry that particular thing did not work out. I certainly know the feeling when you hope that just because you have things in common with a person, the expectation for everything else to click. Perhaps I'm speaking mostly to myself here, but as I said before I'm getting confused who is in whos head. you certainly should be in the right area to meet a healthy guy. Its like a smokey coffin here. Someone online posted a rather generalizing - but funny- triangle diagram about women which probably has a similar correlation in men...anyway on each respective corner was attractive:intelligent:emotionally stable, and it said pick two. I guess its hard for anyone to have the whole package. These days I just hope I can do my thing without making a big fuss. I met another person here that was turned on by me eating dog food. hopefully this inspires Ioanna

Thanks... That triangle diagram thing sounds funny. I still believe in the whole package - I don't think it's too hard to find the whole package, whereas it is more challenging to find the right whole package. I think lots of people are all of the above. If anything, "emotionally stable" isn't as important as emotional intelligence - emotional intelligence suggests the room for growth and development. I think the "emotionally stable" point of the triangle has the most potential for change/growth. In addition, "emotionally stable" is, of course, just as subjective as "attractive" and "intelligent." Some people might interpret an emotionally stable person's expressiveness, openness/honesty, and authenticity as attributes of instability. But I do believe/hope that most people would rather have a real, authentic partner than an always "happy and relaxed," compliant, inauthentic, disassociated girlfriend/boyfriend/partner/spouse.

Have I mentioned I actually loathe the taste? partiuclarly when its good quality.

Lol, yes, I find it amusing/hilarious/cute/alien-like that you loathe raw butter... Have you ever tried making raw garlic and/or fresh herby butters? Dill, basil, rosemary, or rosemary garlic, etc. I think it's worth the little trouble. I recently made garlic butter with some grated "raw" parm-regg in it and I could eat it by itself, it was so yummerz. Although you eat so much butter, you'd probably OD on the herb carbs, j/k. I don't know how you eat so much butter when you loathe it.

Maybe i'll finally hit 170 which ive never done eating raw.

Here, let me give you some of my weight...

just posted a bunch of pics in that hunter gatherer exercise/physique thread.

Heres one I left out because it was pretty much exactly the same

but with a hat!

Lol - nice!   I'll consider the look for my fashion show.

also that manicure/dog torturing bit is from American Psycho, it people didn't get it instantly.

Thanks, I had no idea... I thought you really did give yourself a pedi and then was kidding about the dog.

[KD]

no pedicure. glad I clarified . After recounting his day (expressing his disgust at a gay pride parade actually) Patrick Bateman mentions casually. "On the way to Wall Street this morning, due to gridlock I had to get out of the company car and was walking down Fifth Avenue [...] I sprinted over to Sixth Avenue, decided to be late for the office and took a cab back to my apartment where I put on a new suit (by Cerruti 1881), gave myself a pedicure and tortured to death a small dog I had bought earlier this week in a pet store on Lexington. Armstrong drones on. "

I think you are right about potential mates or even short term things, in a way there is no such thing as emotional stability, only its capacity I think. What it meant I believe was the -indeed the generalizing - remark that if you happen to find a women who was interesting, intelligent, and beautiful in probably a bar type setting, the odds are she was still single because she was either nuts or incredibly needy. Otherwise she would be married right??   The whole dating process seems to be a total strain on ones sanity, so in a way its a poor reflection on how one might be in a healthy relationship.

the butter thing is basically a non-paradox . I'm sure if I was eating small amounts as a condiment or with salt/spices it would be different. I enjoy eating it sometimes with the weirdest of combinations in some sweet fruits. I like it ok with scallops and liver, but I have to kind of bounce back and forth between the two to keep the taste from lingering. To me this is not the mark of a tasty food. I've eaten suet like an apple before but it doesn't break down as easy and I often just end up chewing a mash of it forever. I also think it yields poor energy per calorie compared to butter, but I don't know how scientific that is. The butter I get is also probably far more rich in minerals than any other animal fat I can get at least. Basically when I am eating it i'm throwing back 1.5 inch square chunks and then eating some kind of meat. The butter after eating maybe 100 lbs in this fashion has never been more satisfying than any other animal food I've ever eaten. I'd like to experiment with some recipes regardless, but the taste thing is sort of a non issue as long as it works the magic. The taste just certainly isn't an incentive for me in eating it. The worst thing by far is those blended egg/butter/lemon or nut things - the butter gets all curdled. I can see why folks down the honey.

----

if you do a male line you should totally recruit some folks here as models

As for the weight trade, in my job to motivate you I must say you'll have to convert to lean mass first before I become interested in taking what you got.

[Ioanna]

I guess its hard for anyone to have the whole package.

I think I expect the whole package, and am entirely disappointed to discover anything less... and then I'm gone. 

  I met another person here that was turned on by me eating dog food. hopefully this inspires Ioanna.

haha, nice!  i'll be especially inspired when you share your dog food    ... and not with a dog!

[KD]

I think I expect the whole package, and am entirely disappointed to discover anything less... and then I'm gone. 


haha, nice!  i'll be especially inspired when you share your dog food    ... and not with a dog!

haha like Lady and the Tramp style.

yeah I dunno, I think I probably do need the whole package, but I tend to stubbornly explore whatever. Recently I ran into trouble with this. Theres def a spectrum with looks, so there has to be with emotional poise! Somehow I think intelligence oddly for me has a higher bar. not super high but probably higher than average, whereas I would probably date a girl with 'average' looks if she was super cool.

[Cinna]

no pedicure. glad I clarified .

I gave myself a pedi yesterday.

The whole dating process seems to be a total strain on ones sanity, so in a way its a poor reflection on how one might be in a healthy relationship.

Haha! I've never been much of a dater... I'm trying to change that atm, but so far it hasn't seemed worth the "trouble" (I sound like I have a bad attitude). Perhaps I don't give people enough of a "chance," but I also feel like I "know" I like someone within three minutes or three hours or three days of talking to or knowing them. Even when I've been "wrong" about someone I liked, I wasn't really wrong because there was something significant (growth-enhancing or pre-in utero contract-fulfilling or karmic debt-paying) that I needed to learn/experience from my interaction with them.

if you do a male line you should totally recruit some folks here as models

Great idea, but this is for my Torrid-Horrid homeless fashion chic show primarily comprised of pieces that my mom bought on clearance at Target. I would love to get you into something, but she's been buying small, medium, even extra small sizes (I'm petite when I'm not fat)... I don't think they will fit you.

As for the weight trade, in my job to motivate you I must say you'll have to convert to lean mass first before I become interested in taking what you got.

'sigh', fine! <sulky smiley>... Sorry, I'm kinda cranky today (not sleeping much) and you're a dear for motivating me. I've been taking two steps forward, 1 1/2 steps back... so I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I need a few weeks... btw, I get mad props for attempting this during the holidays.

[Cinna]

I think I expect the whole package, and am entirely disappointed to discover anything less... and then I'm gone. 

Good - you should expect and experience/receive the whole package. You always deserve the whole package and should never settle. <3

yeah I dunno, I think I probably do need the whole package, but I tend to stubbornly explore whatever. Recently I ran into trouble with this. Theres def a spectrum with looks, so there has to be with emotional poise! Somehow I think intelligence oddly for me has a higher bar. not super high but probably higher than average, whereas I would probably date a girl with 'average' looks if she was super cool.

Exploring "whatever" is interesting/important/helpful too (not always as counter-productive as it usually seems)... It definitely helps us define/refine what our ideal "right whole package" might look like anyways - so we'll recognize her/him when we're ready and s/he appears.

For sure, intelligence (oh - and true kindness/goodness, honesty/openness, self-awareness/self-reflection, love/respect, reliability/integrity, and authenticity) is a more precious commodity than looks. It's not just that looks "fade." Looks just don't seem as important after 15 months or after 15 years... Being able to engage in a truly stimulating and soul-satisfying and mind-expanding conversation with the same intelligent person 15 years down the road is going to be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more fulfilling/interesting than looking at the same pretty face - even if that same face is just as beautiful as it was 15 years ago.

A match of your intelligence will keep you growing, learning, discovering, becoming a better person. A match of your looks will... be a match of your looks. And you might be bored too. But if s/he is cute, not smart, but very kind/sincere and funny, that's cool too.

[wodgina]

You can meet youngish girls 'out' who are normal, and fun. The good ones get taken pretty quick though.

I think you should settle for the incomplete package BTW.

[miles]

Woah that One Million Years BC looks excellent! Is it good? I watched a 9min youtube music video for it, think I might watch the whole thing. Never heard of it before now. And the space-girl dance was good too.

Posting here since this is kind of KD&Cinna's shared journal now =D.

[KD]

Haha! I've never been much of a dater... I'm trying to change that atm, but so far it hasn't seemed worth the "trouble" (I sound like I have a bad attitude). Perhaps I don't give people enough of a "chance," but I also feel like I "know" I like someone within three minutes or three hours or three days of talking to or knowing them. Even when I've been "wrong" about someone I liked, I wasn't really wrong because there was something significant (growth-enhancing or pre-in utero contract-fulfilling or karmic debt-paying) that I needed to learn/experience from my interaction with them.

I've been taking two steps forward, 1 1/2 steps back... so I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I need a few weeks... btw, I get mad props for attempting this during the holidays.

This first thing reminds me of the old Chris Farley routine with the quotes..on weekend update.

"Maybe I'm not "the norm". I'm not "camera friendly". I don't "wear clothes that fit me". I'm not a "heartbreaker". I haven't "had sex with a woman"; I don't know "how that works". I guess I don't "fall in line". I'm not "hygenic". I don't "wipe properly". I lack "style". I have no "charisma" or "self esteem". I don't "own a toothbrush" or "let my scabs heal". I can't "reach all the parts of my body". When I sleep, I "sweat profusely"."

 Maybe i don't " smell good"?

sounds like you are taking a half step forward. This is good. In fact its even better than 5 steps forward and then getting distracted and wandering off somewhere where we can't find you .

I like going on dates, I think i'm good a the actual date part, just not all the game/drama/whathaveyou of when to call how long to keep your text messages and all this other shit. I think i'm going over to the dark-side soon ( as per the Women thread) because it seems like the only way to being totally "cool" in these situations is to already have something going on!...any sense of desperation is fucking fatal!

For sure, intelligence (oh - and true kindness/goodness, honesty/openness, self-awareness/self-reflection, love/respect, reliability/integrity, and authenticity) is a more precious commodity than looks. It's not just that looks "fade." Looks just don't seem as important after 15 months or after 15 years... Being able to engage in a truly stimulating and soul-satisfying and mind-expanding conversation with the same intelligent person 15 years down the road is going to be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more fulfilling/interesting than looking at the same pretty face - even if that same face is just as beautiful as it was 15 years ago.

A match of your intelligence will keep you growing, learning, discovering, becoming a better person. A match of your looks will... be a match of your looks. And you might be bored too. But if s/he is cute, not smart, but very kind/sincere and funny, that's cool too.

yeah there are so many qualities overlooked in that pyramid . I'm not going to present myself as a saint, looks are very important to me, but looks embraces way more than a symmetrical face or whatever (which I don't really care about) but also body for sure and even mannerisms. A girl for me might not be runway material but might be totally cute just the way she acts and exudes. but yeah I think in the range of a nice body seems necessary ://. I've been involved with only one girl who was deemed by other people around me as really not smart. she had allt he trappings of a smart person (good college etc..) but it took the convincing of others that she was obnoxiously dumb. I think lacking the kind/sincere parts was probably more the nail in the coffin. I've also noticed the more beautiful girls I date, the more they say things like they arn't good enough or something...and then end up dumping me what is that?

You can meet youngish girls 'out' who are normal, and fun. The good ones get taken pretty quick though.

I think you should settle for the incomplete package BTW.

I've been dating some girls in the early 20's which is sort of new for me. not having alot of luck thus far. Seems to be some major gap with growing up with more technology maybe. I think you are right though. I hate to say it but I particularly feel this was due to RPD, even though I really try to push it to the periphery of my mind in that dating moment. I can't even be sure I'm the complete package!

[wodgina]

There's no age/technology gap. Girls are girls. They're pretty much have the same as they've always been. IMO.

[Ioanna]

Haha! I've never been much of a dater...

i'm not much into dating either, so if i do accept it usually means i'm already attracted to him on some level.  and then i end the relationship when i get the sense that i cannot trust him with my innermost thoughts, emotions, whatever.  his perception is an abrupt end, but mine is not... i'm at least equally hurt/disappointed though. 

[KD]

There's no age/technology gap. Girls are girls. They're pretty much have the same as they've always been. IMO.

I dunno. I never sent more than 2 consecutive text messages in my life that consisted of much than "hi, at the front door" "i'm outside the bar" (or whatever), "give me a ring later I can't chat now" etc.. now its like a fucking novella on my cell phone that needs to get erased weekly. who knew when someone texts "how u doiin?" its impolite to call and NOT spend 3 hrs having a conversation like praying mantises.

I think partly i'm old fashioned or something. I do think someone from the 50's would have a gee golly hard time today. I mean..in my mind when you screw someone a few times, its not too inappropriate to try to maybe...kiss them on a 4th or fith date, and not be presented with "What the fuck dude!?"

i'm not much into dating either, so if i do accept it usually means i'm already attracted to him on some level.  and then i end the relationship when i get the sense that i cannot trust him with my innermost thoughts, emotions, whatever.  his perception is an abrupt end, but mine is not... i'm at least equally hurt/disappointed though.  

that makes sense. I think sometimes i'm the reverse...too transparent maybe.

[Ioanna]

i like old fashioned.. i thought all girls do? .. cinna???

an old fashioned gentleman in america hardly exists i think?  (present company excluded )

[KD]

i like old fashioned.. i thought all girls do? .. cinna???

an old fashioned gentleman in america hardly exists i think?  (present company excluded )

heh, yeah the one of the girls that I really liked said I was "way too nice" and that she "usually dated assholes" said in a positive light.

if she only knew what a verbose prick I was on RPF

she actually called me 2 weeks after we split and said the same thing. That I was really cool and should be with someone that wasn't such an asshole, as if that would make one feel better about not being with someone they liked. I guess she meant well.

maybe I should listen to a little of the Women-thread wodg wisdom till I meet a similar whole package healthy person to you girls.

[miles]

Maybe you should take up something perceived as rough/mean like cage-fighting. So they'll get to see you as a mean/rough person, and you can still be nice to them. Or put on some scar make-up and pretend you've been killing dogs with your bare hands for a Korean restaurant =)

[Cinna]

now its like a fucking novella on my cell phone that needs to get erased weekly. who knew when someone texts "how u doiin?" its impolite to call and NOT spend 3 hrs having a conversation like praying mantises.

I think partly i'm old fashioned or something. I do think someone from the 50's would have a gee golly hard time today. I mean..in my mind when you screw someone a few times, its not too inappropriate to try to maybe...kiss them on a 4th or fith date, and not be presented with "What the fuck dude!?"

if she only knew what a verbose prick I was on RPF

Maybe you should take up something perceived as rough/mean like cage-fighting. So they'll get to see you as a mean/rough person, and you can still be nice to them. Or put on some scar make-up and pretend you've been killing dogs with your bare hands for a Korean restaurant =)

Omg, omg - you guys are killing me... LOL!!!!!!!!!!! (Thank you! I need to laugh more! ) I'm sorry, KD - I am not laughing at your pain... it's just the way you word it...

[KD]

Maybe you should take up something perceived as rough/mean like cage-fighting. So they'll get to see you as a mean/rough person, and you can still be nice to them. Or put on some scar make-up and pretend you've been killing dogs with your bare hands for a Korean restaurant =)

you mean other than eating bones and animal tongues? heh I think partly you are right..I probably send out mixed messages as to what exact kind of dude I am because I really don't know. yeah I work out and eat raw meat but other than that i'm pretty dainty and civilized and possibly even an intellectual communist. I enjoy shit TV and gong to museums and not so much motorcycles and monster truck rallies and putting cigarettes out on my tongue. but yeah...it was crap weather the other night so this dude gave me and my bike a ride home from my gym. anyway, he does some type of MA (I forgot) what but its basically grappling. Its a bit far from me but I might scope it out even though the face paint seems more my style.

if she only knew what a verbose prick I was on RPF

Even after sending Mr. S an apologetic and conciliatory PM regarding my "injun" remark, I'm biting my hand to not mention that 1/8 and 1/16 on each contributing side equals I believe 3/32 not 1/6, as two smaller fractions only equally a larger fraction when you add them numerically, particulary when 1/6 is larger than each contribuitng parents percentage. like if your mom was 1/4 Asian and your dad 1/2 Asian, you would be 3/8 Asian not 3/4 Asian..  grrrrrrr what is wrong with me? While am I reading blood quantum laws? i need some kind of anal detox..err detox from being anal retentive]

hot links:
http://www.rawpaleoforum.com/off-topic/what-are-you-eating-right-now/msg52768/?topicseen#msg52768
http://www.rawpaleoforum.com/exercisebodybuilding/today%27s-workout/msg52757/?topicseen#msg52757

[miles]

Hey KD I don't remember what proportions he said but I remember working it out to come to 1/6, I forget though.

[KD]

I don't see how that is possible but I have lost out to math problems here before. Either way i'm an asshole I suppose. I have already apologized, but perhaps here is a greater opportunity for me to also look more wrong. That's better than sorry.

[yeah...the numbers were listed wrong. Given the description the parents would be 1/4 not 1/8 and 1/8 not 1/16..still seems like 3/16] eek ok back to my anal detox.

[wodgina]

Just text  'maybe' 'k' 'yep' don't get in conversations in txt messaging, your not a chick or or gay. Keep it short.

i like old fashioned.. i thought all girls do? .. cinna???

an old fashioned gentleman in america hardly exists i think?  (present company excluded )

This proves girls are crazy.

[Cinna]

Woah that One Million Years BC looks excellent! Is it good? I watched a 9min youtube music video for it, think I might watch the whole thing. Never heard of it before now.

I've never seen the movie. I just know about the must-see girl in it.

And the space-girl dance was good too.

Coolio, I'm so happy you appreciated it.

[KD]

Cinna: I see you are working on your Asian squat.

[Cinna]

This first thing reminds me of the old Chris Farley routine with the quotes..on weekend update.

"Maybe I'm not "the norm". I'm not "camera friendly". I don't "wear clothes that fit me". I'm not a "heartbreaker". I haven't "had sex with a woman"; I don't know "how that works". I guess I don't "fall in line". I'm not "hygenic". I don't "wipe properly". I lack "style". I have no "charisma" or "self esteem". I don't "own a toothbrush" or "let my scabs heal". I can't "reach all the parts of my body". When I sleep, I "sweat profusely"."

Lol, I think sleep deprivation brings out my inner Chris Farley... I was killing my cabinmates on the cruise, I was so hilariously funny... yeah, not so much when I'm better-rested.

Omg, I quoted you and I'm looking at your text in the writing box and you actually made the outside quotations BOLD?!!? That strikes me as unusually detailed and particular, especially for you! - I mean, grammar/punctuation-usage-wise, I'm sure you're very detailed/particular in other areas... I mean, I guess it wouldn't take long to do, but I couldn't even tell that they were bold... it's just now I'm seeing all the b'b's. You're thoughtful.

sounds like you are taking a half step forward. This is good. In fact its even better than 5 steps forward and then getting distracted and wandering off somewhere where we can't find you .

I like going on dates, I think i'm good a the actual date part, just not all the game/drama/whathaveyou of when to call how long to keep your text messages and all this other shit. I think i'm going over to the dark-side soon ( as per the Women thread) because it seems like the only way to being totally "cool" in these situations is to already have something going on!...any sense of desperation is fucking fatal!

I kinda don't see that as being very "you," but you know, who am I to know what "you" is... I really don't know. I may not remember all the particulars of the dark side, but I figure, the more games you play, the more game-playing people you attract. You want something real? Be real, be yourself, keep it real. Games and contrivances attract more games and contrivances. I'm not saying you can't do different things to mix up the game and have fun, even faking more confidence to "make" more true confidence, but acting too cool for school - even if it garners lots of attention and puffery - isn't going to impress the real deal... As I continue to write, I have that sinkingness that none of this is really making sense, so I'll move on. Wow, it must be cliche/idiomatic expression night in the Cinna-centric universe.

I've also noticed the more beautiful girls I date, the more they say things like they arn't good enough or something...and then end up dumping me what is that?

Hm. I wonder why... any ideas or do you really have no idea?

I've been dating some girls in the early 20's which is sort of new for me. not having alot of luck thus far. Seems to be some major gap with growing up with more technology maybe. I think you are right though. I hate to say it but I particularly feel this was due to RPD, even though I really try to push it to the periphery of my mind in that dating moment.

What was due to RPD? Oh, and what am I right about exactly? (I wanna know.)

I can't even be sure I'm the complete package!

I think we're all complete-package works-in-progress.

[Cinna]

i like old fashioned.. i thought all girls do? .. cinna???

an old fashioned gentleman in america hardly exists i think?  (present company excluded )

Yes, I love old-fashioned! Especially donuts, men, general stores, stagecoach inns, westerns, saloons, log cabins, Harold Lloyd movies... old-fashioned is my cup of tea.

Cinna: I see you are working on your Asian squat.

Yeah.

[KD]

haha, how about tumbleweeds and saloons, and duels?


we should do the Kill Bill Wedding..uh without the massacre.


that comment about RPD was a typo and should have said ' I feel this way due to RD" not "was due". It wasn't a response to you, but to wodg about settling. I was saying that since i'm on this diet in particular - on top of all my other faults - there seems to be some settling required. Not saying this is true of course, but I feel it is. Theres certain types of girls I won't even try for, and it isn't because I think they wouldn't want to go for me, It just seems to me like it wouldn't work out 


Let me punctuate in peace!!!!