I have been attempting to explain to my wife how my pot use is more to me than just a drug habit.
I was suffering with issues before I ever had my first toke of pot, I was diagnosed with insomnia and seasonal depression when I was still a child, I was diagnosed with a serotonin imbalance and perscribed drugs at the age of 13. I never took the meds because they made me feel so sick, but I did learn that I could self medicate using Marajuana. I have manged to become adapted to its effects quite well, and I have been able to maintain my sanity through some insane life experience.(I have experienced hell)much more than I will ever try to explain to others.
It seems to calm my overactive mind and gives me a strength to put up with and tolerate the drudgery's of everyday life as a working class father. It was always a favorite pastime among the poor and slave classes. Even if I cant prove that Thomas Jefferson smoked it, I know that many of people in his time did and lived well and did not suffer from addiction.
I will say there is a catch to habitual pot use and being able to maintain a healthy moderation can be like walking the razors edge. Once you have become comfortable with the effects of marijuana its hard to let go. It may be different for different people, but I use it as a spiritual as well as physiological tonic. I seem to get so worked up and anxious and burdened with stress that it seems pot is the best thing that can keep me level headed under pressure. Although now I have high meat so I don't use as much pot. All I need is a couple of tokes and then I can work steady and stay focused for about three hours(before it wears off) , no matter how stressfull the situation.
I do not like the stigma of being called an marijuana addict, because I believe pot can be herbal medicine if used wisely, and I use it as such. If you would call a pot smoker an addict then you must also call whoever uses any other herb as a drug user. Coffee, tea,chamomile,saint johns wort, Valerian root,nightshade,nutmeg and on and on.
I have an other belief that marijuana is so mild and non damaging to the body and the benefits for those who enjoy it are so great that if you force someone to give it up out of some moralistic notion that its inherently bad then you may be causing who you are attempting to save more harm than good.
My Uncle is a master chef, a real intelligent man who has used pot for twenty years and has lived well with it, he had to give it up because of his job(random testing). He has no physical withdrawls, but he had always used it to wind down after work and now he cant sleep at night and has started to take ambian. He also gets sick more often and just isn't as happy as he was when he could smoke a little pot.
But at least he has kicked that terrible addition that seemed to make him so happy for most of his adult life. I have an other uncle who quit and he just seems to drink more and other than that he is no better off.
So when it comes to my own habits I am kind of content to do what I am doing and smoke enough to lift my spirits from time to time as well as leaving it alone for a few days so as to keep tolerance low. I may be just deluded or attempting to justify my habits, but I feel I am a better person overall with it than without. I am more loving toward the world and have more Patience with my children, more playfull and free spirited. I have an overall more positive outlook when under the influence of cannabis. No one will ever be able to tell me I am somehow making it up all these benefits I get from it. Trust me I have been dealing with these issues regarding cannabis use for a long time and have not yet found any better way to personal happiness.
I am still conflicted about what is the right thing to do, my wife thinks I can just put it away and grow out of it, as if its some kind of crutch to be cast off, I try to explain that its a way of life that I shouldn't be made ashamed of.