RAW MEAT DOCUMENTARY CASTING

[wodgina]

I'm so sorry for your troubles Sabertooth.  

It is best that the children's faces will be blurred out because that will prevent possible repercussions for them at their vulnerable ages. When they get to be the age of consent they might choose to make their own videos.

You are indeed now a free agent. Perhaps it is for the best. You believe so strongly in what you are doing and are a maverick desiring to change the world for the better. It's a risky business with a wife that doesn't agree or support and with children that could be harmed.

What did you work out in terms of custody of the children? You are totally right that it won't matter what they make into your footage without the children to be taken from you and with their faces blurred - except perhaps in their relationship down the road with you - but hopefully you can act along the way to nullify any harm.

The more outrageous they make it, the more exposure it will get and perhaps the more notoriety and ability for you to come forth and prove how they portrayed you incorrectly. You might choose to make your own Sabertooth youtube channel from the notoriety with GS and DaBoss's suggestions. On your own - you could possibly make just about anything they do into a positive.

You are now free to make your way, to make your dreams and goals a reality. I hope the program is your first step - no matter how it turns out.

Are you for frickin' real woman?

Paraphrase 'You have a right to do what you are doing but think it's wrong and I will passively condescend, shame and guilt trip you'

[intrigued]

Are you for frickin' real woman?

Paraphrase 'You have a right to do what you are doing but think it's wrong and I will passively condescend, shame and guilt trip you'

To me it seemed a lot more like 'I hope this goes well for everyone involved, but it's obviously a risk so even if they spin it really badly for you, here's some constructive feedback on how to turn that situation into a good thing".  It's certainly realist, but I don't see it as condescending or guilt tripping.  Considering the nature of television in general and these types of shows in particular, a healthy dose of realism seems like a good thing.

Anyway, I'm very interested to see how it turns out, so hopefully people keep up with this thread so I don't miss it.  As has already been said, even if they spin it wildly into the negative, there will be some viewers who can see tv for what it is, and question it further.  Just seeing someone eating raw meat who isn't racked with disease or already dead could be the start of more questions for some.

[goodsamaritan]

Are you for frickin' real woman?

Paraphrase 'You have a right to do what you are doing but think it's wrong and I will passively condescend, shame and guilt trip you'

Dorothy was merely stating what she thinks Sabertooth's EX-WIFE may have been thinking.  I know from experience that is what a "normal" non RPD woman would think.

By experience (with a good number of women), social standing and blending in with the herd is important to them and their children.

Me and the women in RPD know this and Dorothy was merely explaining to the men here (who have no experience with marriage and children) why...

... please don't paint Dorothy bad over this.  She is just trying to explain to us men the woman's point of view.

--------------

I was unlucky enough to have caught that outburst by Sabertooth's EX-WIFE on facebook and I thought that kind of outburst should have been reserved in their own PRIVATE conversations.

[Dorothy]

Yes - I'm for real. But I am not condescending, shaming or guilt tripping. Interesting that you read that in what I wrote. Thank you Intrigued and GS.

Parents have to decide what they think is best for their children and how much risk they are willing to take for themselves as well as how much risk they are willing to expose their children to while pursuing and balancing that with what they feel is right. In the United States today putting oneself on television stating that you eat raw meat could easily bring out all the crazies demanding that the children be removed from such parents. That's just the sad reality. I understand why Sabertooth believes it's worth the risk and I also can understand any spouse, woman or man, raw paleo or not, refusing to go along with it. It is my impression that Sabertooth believes that all the risks are worth it because he's doing what he feels he needs to - following his heart and what he feels is his mission in life. I can respect that. Some things in life are worth any risk.

I'm not on facebook so all I know is from this thread. What I see here is a man that seems to have a real calling that had a wife without that same calling and who would not take the risks or actions necessary to stay with him and support him - which is understandable to me. I of course don't know any of the other details or factors - but just a spouse who is determined to be in the limelight as a raw paleo spokesperson would make any spouse with children stand back and take stock of their own priorities. Sabertooth needs a partner with his same values or at least enough love and commitment to get through anything that might arise from him going after his dreams.

I'm trying to say to Sabertooth that it's a good thing really even though it might feel crappy now. He is free of a woman on a different path that would hold him back if she could and his children are safe no matter what he feels he must do to spread his message. He can now act freely in making his dreams a reality. Without his wife in the mix it doesn't matter what they do with the footage - he can make it work to his advantage. There is no longer any downside for him. Endings can be really tough. This ending though seems from an outsider's perspective to look to me like it is for the best.   

I'm suggesting that he seize this new opportunity and run with it. Blaming his wife or anyone else or getting stuck in the should haves will only hold him back. He and his wife were simply not a good match. He's a maverick, someone ready and willing to take chances with a door opening for him. All's clear now. I'm excited to see what he will do with the new opportunities.

[raw-al]

Good luck Saber, our thoughts are with you.

[goodsamaritan]

He and his wife were simply not a good match. He's a maverick, someone ready and willing to take chances with a door opening for him. All's clear now. I'm excited to see what he will do with the new opportunities.

Sabertooth's failing health then recovery on RPD is what made him a maverick.  As did most of us here.  Me too, me too. 

I had a lot of tension with my wife when my health was failing, business was failing...

Not much tension on raw vegan and raw fruitarian... but they were saying that i was getting too darned skinny.

Then more tension with the beginning of RPD... when raw red meat was added to my diet.  Raw sea food and raw eggs were culturally acceptable, but not raw red meat.

I'm lucky though when my wife and in laws saw me get well, and I started healing people with RPD, and my kids themselves get well predictably on RPD... they understand that yes, RPD works, RPD will be there when they need it.  My wife is not on RPD because she has tummy problems on raw sea food.  But she can eat rare or seared beef well.  My wife is now a health nut herself exploring cooked paleo diet, all organic, more raw, more alkaline, more fat... and she likes anthroposophic medicine.

As for TV appearances, like when I appeared on TV, in the Philippines we do not have big dumb government taking away our children because we eat different from the populace.  I appeared on TV by myself.  But I have a few youtube videos with the kids. 

I wish for Sabertooth to eventually find a loving RPD lady partner he can do his thing with.  Hey, if that fruitarian Durian Rider can partner with a Free Lea girl... Sabertooth may find his. 

[Dorothy]

.... a meat-eating Free-lee without the boob job.

Sure GS - what you and Sabertooth have experienced and others here it probably feels for most of us like we've found a powerfully positive thing that could truly help others. Saber has the courage and temperament it takes to put himself out there like he has. Not everyone has what that would take - especially with what we are up against in this country. People really do feel like it is not only their right but their responsibility not only to tell you how you should live but for the sake of the children to butt their noses into other people's families in nasty ways. It's culturally accepted. It's not just about the government. Individuals will call the police or social services if they think any harm is occurring to a child - and they think it's up to them to decide what is harmful. We passively let the government take more and more of our right to choose away. For instance the FDA doing what it does can only happen if the populace allows it. So many Americans really do think that our population must be protected from itself. Some people might go so far as thinking we have the right to eat raw meat and milk and other foods for ourselves as adults, but when it comes to feeding it to children even they can freak out because of their conditioning.

In order to withstand what the public will inevitably throw at us as raw paleos in public, it's very important for the spouses and entire families to be of one mind and supportive when "coming out of the closet" I would think. It's hard enough doing this on one's own by oneself in private just breaking our own social programming - let alone doing what Saber is doing. In a sense we are all mavericks for going raw paleo in the first place! You and Saber though are mavericks that stand out in a community of mavericks.

I think many people from the US have reported here that although they have healed miraculously from their diets still their families, friends, coworkers etc. won't accept it. It's funny that we consider ourselves an open and free country, but so few people are willing to go beyond the accepted norms - and can get even aggressive when someone else does. Hopefully if the mavericks amongst us get enough people to recognize the benefits the diet itself will help heal the problem. If 30 years ago you told me that most people I talked to would have heard of a raw food diet I wouldn't have believed you. Everyone told me that I was going to die or that I was crazy or just laughed at me. Now what they are calling raw veganism is fairly well accepted. It's wild that there is actually more than one kind of raw diet and people argue over which one is good or bad, right or wrong. It's possible that one day eating raw animal foods will become the new fad diet like raw veganism is. It all has to start somewhere - someone has to be willing to take the initial assaults.

You and I are lucky that our spouses are so open-minded GS. It truly is a blessing. Neither me or my husband would want to be a public figure though. I'm glad that your wife supports you in that desire.

[cherimoya_kid]

I'm sorry to hear about your divorce, Sabertooth. I went through a similar situation back when I first got into raw foodism about 11 years ago.  Fortunately my ex-wife and I have an amicable relationship, and we have been able to work out custody issues with few problems.

I do wish my daughter had been raised all-raw or mostly-raw, but...she's a smart kid, and she can make her own choices when she grows up and moves out of her mom's house. At least she's got me as an example.

Be strong, man.  Remember, life is a marathon, not a sprint, and it's those who keep forging ahead that actually accomplish things in life.  You've got the right idea about a lot of things.

It's like Dorothy said, she and you are on different paths. That's all there is to it. One of these days she'll be sorry she let you go.  Don't trust her again, though, is my opinion.  Keep her at arm's length.  If she'll betray you once, she'll do it again.

[sabertooth]

Are you for frickin' real woman?

Paraphrase 'You have a right to do what you are doing but think it's wrong and I will passively condescend, shame and guilt trip you'

Yep, I am used to that by now. I kind of need a woman to make me walk the line every now and then, but when I tell you I think I am right then there is no changing my mind, so you might as well wish me well.

They told me that they are possibly going to air the show as soon as January.

Lucky for me we wont have to worry about the show causing any trouble with my children!

Apparently a bleeding heart vegetarian facebook friend of mine who lives up the street, made an anonymous call to CPS at 8 AM yesterday, and a sheriff came to our door and notified us that we are under investigation. He said the tip was regarding pictures of me butchering animals, with the children present,. It also seems that my compost  heap of bones constitutes some kind of environmental hazard(Go figure) Tomorrow I will have to meet with a social worker and try to explain that I am on a paleo diet and I butcher my own food. The compost heap is perfectly natural and organic and the chickens peck at the bones. The circle of life is going on in my backyard, is that so wrong. I just hope they actually send somebody out who is intelligent enough to understand concepts such as "permiculture" and "holistic".

I will not be told how to live by some government worker!!!
Are we mice or are we Cavemen? Dammit!!!

[Alive]

Don't you hate those fucking interfering 'well wishers' !

[goodsamaritan]

So what Dorothy said was true about your current culture. 
If that were reported here, the government inspector would be going home with bones for his dogs and big cuts of meat for a feast... And he would be your new buddy.

Prepare some cooked good smelling dish the inspector may sample!

[Projectile Vomit]

Wow, Sabre you seem to be on quite the rollercoaster ride at the moment. Before I checked in today and read through this thread, I recall you and your wife had agreed to try an open marriage with her going after another man and you teasing another woman. I wonder if that played a role in your separation?

I responded to an advertisement from The Learning Channel some months ago about wanting to feature people who have alternative lifestyles. I went through a few phone interviews, but the more interactions I had the more I sensed I was being misled and the risk of being mischaracterized was quite high. They wanted to come to Vermont to film me for a few days, but I turned them down. I think the idea put forward earlier on of teaming up to do YouTube videos or perhaps even collaborate to make a documentary would work out much better. It would give us control over how we're portrayed, rather than giving someone else control who is looking for a sensational story to sell to advertisers.

As others have said already, I hope this works out for you. I fear you're about to lay your neck across the chopping block though, and I hope your performance doesn't make it more challenging for other raw foodists to be taken seriously in the future.

[Dorothy]

Dammit!

You do not have to let them in your house! Seriously. It's not your legal obligation to do so.

I would never let one of those kinds into my home with children. Once you let them in they will have the right to remove your children from you! I know that finances are an issue - but I'd find some way to contact a lawyer if you can. Anything you say or they see at your house can be used against you - even things that have nothing to do with the allegations. There is even the chance of charges of reckless endangerment for you. This is dangerous business for you and your children. Be as prepared as you can be. I'd get rid of those bones NOW! If they ask you if you have butchered an animal in front of your children - you had better know if there is a law against such a thing where you live. You need to understand the laws. You need to know if they will have the right to take your kids or put you in jail and what would give them that right and avoid allowing them access to places or information about anything that might conclude with such a tragedy. Are there any lawyers on this forum? You need a lawyer to get copies of the charges and not permit the government workers access to anywhere in your house besides places that relate to the charges. You might get someone sympathetic or someone that isn't. You need to be prepared.

Sigh. Yes, GS, I wasn't making it up. I've known too many people that have reported on their neighbors. They think that everyone should live the way they do. It's escalating rapidly. No one wants to confront someone directly any more. They just call in someone else. I'm living in a country of cowards.

I

[sabertooth]

My wife stopped giving me respect, love and affection long before we agreed to an open marriage. I gave up fighting to keep her true partly because she became so lame in bed as well as indifferent to me as a person. She spends so much of her time focused on other people and pleasing herself that I no longer felt loved.

I consider myself single now and am weary of finding a new relationship . I just want to find a casual lover. There is this girl in pole dancing that seems crazy about me, maybe she can teach me some new moves..

My running head fist into this TV show while fighting tooth and nail just to survive on the brink of poverty is very wreck-less and I wouldn't advise it for the weak of heart. In my defense, I was driven to the brink of don't give a shit long ago, and posess an understanding that deep down , we only have this one life and I have made the choice to go out in a blaze of glory. So what if its for some cause long forgotten around the time of the agricultural revolution. It was genocide for our paleo ancestors. The hunter gatherers where scattered to the edges of the earth by the rise of agrarian empire and most were either wiped out entirely or made to assimilate into what is called civilization. Though some of us have still managed to keep their rouge spirit and carnivorous apatite alive.   

No guts no glory!!
Its the kind of spirit that can bring out a lot of hatred from those who do not understand. I am the bastard son of that mean old bitch we use to refer to as lady liberty. I can stand my ground with the best of them. The director of the project called me a wicked debater and if any of that spirit can show through then we are going to have one hell of a show. Even if they spin it toward the negative, and make me into a primitive beast. I tell you there is no such thing as bad publicity.

 Seeing the Ripley piece about AV convinced me about raw meat being safe , even though the spin was in the negative. Seeing is believing!!

[TylerDurden]

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. - Seneca the Younger

I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence. - Doug McLeod

Since the Bible and the church are obviously mistaken in telling us where we came from, how can we trust them to tell us where we are going? - Anonymous

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish. - Anonymous

Faith means not wanting to know what is true. — Friedrich Nietzsche


Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile. — Kurt Vonnegut


Geoff the Cynic who doesn't believe in Faith.

[sabertooth]

The complaint was made by a vegetarian woman who lives up the street who has been trolling my facebook , the cops know that I butcher my own animals, and that my children are unvaccinated, and I have kept my 5 year old son out of kindergarten. There is nothing illegal about any of that. This is persecution.

Just got visited, The sheriff came out with the social worker, Basically the complaint was against me only and they forced Sarah to sign a safety agreement in which I am not suppose to stay with my own children. If she hadn't signed the agreement the sheriff told me he could arrest me right there for neglect. Its classic CPS tyranny, (they got me by the balls). She signed the paper that allows her to keep custody while I am investigated. Now we have to play their game. They took all my information and are going to do a thorough investigation. Bring it on I have nothing to hide. Its better to get it out of the way before the show airs, anyway.

[PaleoPhil]

My running head fist into this TV show while fighting tooth and nail just to survive on the brink of poverty is very wreck-less and I wouldn't advise it for the weak of heart.

I agree with you, and I also wouldn't advise it for anyone who doesn't  want to lose visitation rights with their children or risk going to jail, especially given your record of motor vehicle/insurance infractions and contempt of court, IIRC, and your lack of funds to pay for a good lawyer, bail, etc..

There is nothing illegal about any of that.

Have you checked, or are you assuming that? You might be surprised how many odd old laws there are on the books. The police can find a way to put just about anyone that pisses them off in jail nowadays.

Odds are that you won't listen to anyone, yet it's painful to watch your self destruction and as Eric pointed out, by going out of your way to make a stink and behave erratically you may make things more difficult for other rawists, so I'll give a shot at trying to help--Dorothy is right that you need legal counsel. Since you don't have money, I guess you'll have to find out if you can get pro bono help. Re: the butchering, bones, raw meat and alleged negative effect on the children, I suppose you could try the Institute for Justice that is helping the Paleo blogger who was silenced (but they haven't had any luck http://reason.com/blog/2012/10/11/paleo-diet-lawsuit-dismissed-by-court-in), or the ACLU, but you'd probably have a better chance of staying out of jail and seeing your children by cleaning up your yard, getting an ordinary lawyer, forgetting about the soapbox stuff and just focusing on getting along and proving that you can be sensible. If you want to survive, stay out of jail and see your children, wouldn't it make sense right now to chill out and do as few things to piss off your neighbor, wife, police, and society as possible and let lawyers make your freedom of lifestyle and speech case for you instead of risking jail?

In my defense, I was driven to the brink of don't give a shit long ago

If you want to stay out of jail, see your children and get out of poverty, is that the attitude that's going to accomplish it? Given that ignoring other peoples' advice has not worked out well so far for you, isn't it time to try a different approach? After all, Narcotics Anonymous said that "insanity is repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results" (it's not quite the real definition of insanity, but close enough).

I have made the choice to go out in a blaze of glory.

Do you want to die? Have you sought any counseling regarding these feelings and your recent course?

I have kept my 5 year old sun out of kindergarten. ...

Are you the one teaching him? Do you know your state's laws and requirements re: homeschooling? I'm hoping that "sun" was just a typo, yes?

I wish you and your family well, Sabertooth. Dorothy, Eric and Tyler seem to be giving generally good advice. I hope you'll listen to them.

[Dorothy]

The cops are allowed to lie to you about whatever they want. They are not by law mandated to tell you the truth. They can say whatever they want to get you to do whatever they want. That is why you need a lawyer. If everything you have done is legal, then he was simply lying to you. You did not have to allow the police nor the social worker onto your property without a warrant. You are giving up your own rights.

[PaleoPhil]

Sabertooth, even if you disagree with Tyler about relying on faith, remember also that "God helps those who help themselves."

Beware any who might encourage you on a "blaze of glory" path. They don't have nearly as much skin in the game as you. At best, they may be misguided and don't have to consider the risk of harsh consequences like you do and at worst, the Internet has plenty of the sort of people who get a kick out of encouraging people to jump from buildings and are entertained when they fall to their deaths.

[sabertooth]

The sherriff was deceiving me and never cited a single law, he exaggerated the complaints and tried to give the impression that he could take the kids away if he wanted to.. Here is where the trap lays. The social worker isn't bound by law. All the sheriff has to do is see a little dirt on the children and then he can say to the parents if you don't sign this agreement to allow CPS to investigate then I will take the kids right now for negelct. Dont you see how wrong that is. No judge or jury, all it takes is an accusation. We are gravitating to a more and more litigious society, in which the way I want to live is deemed crimial. I refuse to go along, ("Civil Disobedience" by Thorough, If you haven't read it then I highly recommend it) . Dont be supprized if they drag me kicking and screaming from my home some day!

 Message to Phil, God forbid you ever walk a mile in my shoes.

Its so easy to criticize. To answer you, Yes I am teaching my son, and I dont think I have done anything that puts my children in jeopardy or retards their development. I am setting them free!

The problem with the law is that they cannot differentiate between a deviant and a saint. I am protesting openly against the overly litigious society of today's world.
CPS would take the baby Jesus from mother Mary(no one could argue against it). Does mother Mary need a fucking lawyer? Ha! She was only 14 at the time so Joseph would be doing time in prison for statutory. Then Baby Jesus would have to go to foster care! "Ah what a world we live in".

As of now I am a free man who is just under investigation, and once they find out I am a supper genius who was just misunderstood the authorities will admit for their mistakes and award me a medal(thats the ticket) Seriously Phil.. do you know whats really going on in the world today, it makes my blood boil thinking about the nanny state my children will have to live in, They want to shoot my kids up with drugs and indoctrinate them in government run indoctrination camps. I am making my stand now, living my life as a protest, and triumphantly cherishing every day that my children can spend under my guidance.BTW, I dont plan on truly martyring myself until after the children are grown, and if the grandchildren need me bad enough I may even put it off until they are grown. Then at age 80 or so I will find some clever way to go out with a bang. (HA)

Can anyone  appreciate what I am tring to do?

[Projectile Vomit]

There are times for being gentle with people, but when the wellbeing of children who can't choose wisely for themselves comes to the fore I'm less inclined to be gentle. I've reached a point after reading this thread more thoroughly, and particularly after reading Sabertooth's reactions and statements about "going out in a blaze of glory", that he probably shouldn't be allowed to interact with his children. I'm all in favor of eating raw foods and butchering one's own animals and even allowing children to participate in these activities, but what did you expect by advertising these activities with the defiant attitude you seem to carry? You're well on your way to earning the label "Doesn't play well with others." That's a dangerous label to carry, in any community. Don't deceive yourself into believing that you're a genius, when what you seem to be is anti-social and self-absorbed.

The sense I've gotten is that you've backed yourself into a corner with a long succession of poor decisions. It also sounds like it's time to answer for those decisions. I hope the TV show you'll be featured in treats you gently, and I also hope it's possible for the raw food movement to live down whatever foolishness you portray.

[goodsamaritan]

Sabertooth,

You can do all that kind of truth stuff in my country.

Seems your defiance as a single person of truth will be met with Nazi persecution in your country.

I would think you had best follow Dorothy's advice and experience on this.

Made me remember why I stopped renewing my US Visa.

[PaleoPhil]

There are times for being gentle with people, but when the wellbeing of children who can't choose wisely for themselves comes to the fore I'm less inclined to be gentle. I've reached a point after reading this thread more thoroughly, and particularly after reading Sabertooth's reactions and statements about "going out in a blaze of glory", that he probably shouldn't be allowed to interact with his children.  ....

Well said, as usual. I gave the helping approach a shot, but I had a feeling that Sabertooth would completely miss my point, along with the good advice from you, Dorothy and Tyler, and take it as criticism when it obviously wasn't. I was bending over backwards to cut him slack and try to help him, but you're right that so far he has only demonstrated that it's all about him and his self-glorification at the expense of everyone else, including all rawists and near-rawists and even his own family, and I suppose I was too easy-going and too willing to overlook the nonsense. I found his wife to be perfectly reasonable and to instantly get what I was trying to say, but Sabertooth seems to get the opposite meaning out of whatever I write. It seems that he must drop to the gutter before he snaps out of this martyrdom complex, if ever. Thanks for putting this in perspective and for putting the children first.

Sabertooth, I wish I could help you, but I suspect that you are beyond help at this point and will continue on your path of self-destruction. Right now my sympathies lie mostly with your children, who do not seem to be your primary focus right now--I hope that's not the case. How sad it is that your obvious physical improvements via a raw Paleo diet will go largely unnoticed and even be denigrated because of your other behaviors.

Yes, this is a police state and the Empire sucks, but do you really think that just giving it the finger and daring it to destroy you is in any way effective? Come to think of it, GS's posts makes me think that if you don't mind never seeing your son again, it might be a good time to bug out and head to the Philippines, if they'll make you a citizen.

[sabertooth]

Eric you talking smack, God forbid you have to walk a mile in my shoes.

Doesn't anyone have a sense of humor, dammit. Dare to be stupid! Dare to dream the impossible dream. Anyway I think you are misunderstanding a nerds attempt at humor." I understand how difficult it is for intellectuals to lower their ego defenses and make real loving connections and compromises within a community of other like minded fellaheens. Also, I am more aware of my short comings than you could ever fathom, I am also aware of my gifts, and want more than anything to use what intellect I have left for good purpose, but sadly there are a lot of hateful people who would discourage any attempt to break out of the Box. This type of thing is happening right here and now and not only in my situation, but throughout the course of human events. I want to talk of love and friendship, but as soon I begin to open up, I get hit with cynicism and doubt from all sides(TD). One often has to laugh to keep from crying"Dostoevsky

Then again you may be right Eric (from a jerks perspective).
I am like a wild animal battered and confused that is backed into a corner and tring to claw its way out of hell.  Though, Saying my struggle is simply due to poor decisions is oversimplification. You have no Idea of what hell I have been through buddy!

Any of you guys are more than welcome to make a pilgrimage to see for yourself the real me, meet my children and see for yourself that they are well and taken care of. I need friends now more than ever. There has to be someone out there who sees that my heart is in the right place.

[sabertooth]

I hear you Phil, its just that I have been going through a hard time and much of this talk is just a way of venting stress without getting violently angry. I appreciate ever ones advise and patients.