Aww, shitty, Inger. I know it's a difficult perspective right now, but everything really really really happens for a reason, and if, once your wounds have healed, you'll seize life and dream up that perfect man, he'll show up in the strangest way, and you can live happily ever after if you want. Believe me, you'll have your pick of whomever you want.
My mom is an alcoholic, my last gf was an alcoholic, my ex-stepdad was and a few family members. There's nothing you can do with these kind of people except love them, let them go, and visualize their health and happiness. They have some shit to work out that no one on the planet but them can control, and since they really can't control it until they decide they want to (usually rock bottom or near death) there's not that much point living in misery with them. Of course if you want to stick it out with these types, you certainly can, but you have to expect the behavior and pain that alcohol manifests and exposes, respectively. My vast experience with many alcoholics has mostly soured me on alcohol. Plus I was a lush in highschool for a semester before I lost most of my friends because of it. It's a GREAT substance for exposing internal pain, but horrible for fixing it!
And of course it's not my place to tell you that this suffering is grace, that's for you to determine, but I can tell you that I would not trade a single one of my many many painful experiences in life including, near death experiences, neglect, physical and verbal abuse as a child, religious brainwashing, several arrests, having been mugged and jumped a couple times, once at gunpoint, terrible health and isolation as a child. These were all horrible at the time, gives me chills to relive them, but I'm so grateful for each and every one of the experiences. Life is such an incredible gift. And with about 3 billion + other males on the planet, you can bet there's one, or two, or ten thousand, out there, just right for you!