Yeah, to be clear, it's not about blaming your parents, it's about understanding why you behave the way you do. For the first 5-6 years of life you are basically a hypnotized sponge. Absorbing every little nuance of behaviour going on around you. So typically that means your parents behviour, but if you were raised by an uncle or grandparents or a foster family, it would be their behaviour, as well as other behaviour you are repeatedly exposed to like daycare workers, school teachers, church peeps (yuck!)
They form our subconscious and then that becomes our modus operandi until we consciously change it. If you don't believe me, go hang out with anyone and their parents, no matter the age, 1 to 100, you WILL see the commonalities if you pay attention. Both in posture, expression and speech. It's creepy, but that is the way mammals, and really most animals, learn. It's programmed in.
I advocate for personal responsibility first and foremost, but you are hardly a conscious being (of course neither are most adults in this society!) at the time you absorb all of this stuff. I still find myself performing behaviours and thought processes of my parents, which I have been consciously working to break myself of for yearsssss!
My parents taught me to be poor, to think poor, they taught me to feel shame and guilt because I was born a wretched sinner, they are tedious, unthinking people. They also have a lot of good qualities and I've kept those, my mom's spacey love of floating around like a butterfly totally detached from reality, my dad's love of nature and altruism. But the soul killing qualities have got to go! It's what has kept the both of them from being healthy, balanced people. My mom and dad are both hoarders, I was for the longest time, but I didn't get really healthy until I detached from all of the material stuff, and now I live to minimize that junk because I know that happiness and fulfillment come from within purely.
A good way to catch this behaviour is to enlist the help of someone who knows both your parents and you well and that you spend a good deal of time with. My uncles and aunts who are my best friends tell me, unsolicited in this case (but that is where the idea came from), you're just like your father, or they'll identify a specific behaviour that I'm performing right then and there and say "just like your mom" So then I can scrutinize that behaviour (which I was hitherto unaware of) and decide if it's something I want to keep or if it needs to go go go!
It's not about blame, it is however about balance and awareness.