Lack of focus, Procrastination and Emotional pain
This is a post for myself, but also for those in the contemporary society.
For a lot of us, we're in physical pain and emotional pain.
Just on the subject of health alone, people come to this forum are often at their last resort phase. They either want to get well, or they are willing to just give up.
Mentality wise this time I'm better at this "fixing health" thing. I'm more focused, more relaxed than last time, because I know the plan A-->B, but at the same time life is currently giving me a lot of stressors. The feeling of riding a wave on a tiny raft during the storm of the century is kind of what is going on in my mind.
Part of what got me here, I know exactly, is the lack of focus and procrastination.
I've been multi-tasking, and procrastinating my whole life. And these are all because I don't have the ability to deal with emotional pain and process them. The same psychological pattern that got me here cannot possibly bring me to the next level of health in life. It is always the same pattern as well, I multi-task, procrastinate because somehow the fear of failure overcomes my desire for a healthy body. Constant switching of lifestyle because I'm afraid of changing my identity, changing how others view me.
The fear of failure stems from my inability to handle emotional pain, which end up create more emotional pain for me.
It was the fear of being continue to stuck in atopic march that got me started, and now I'm half way there at 80-90% recovery on eczema, and fully recovered from asthma, suddenly I thought I could stop and just throw everything out of the window. This pattern has happened so many times and it's so painful to see for myself. Reading my old journal, I have recovered, but I was never at the finish line. I was never at the end of the line with perfect skin and perfect smile. It was the inability to handle the change that might encompass the new RPD lifestyle and health with my image of typical conventional lifestyle that everyone else is in, the SAD lifestyle. The cognitive dissonance of identity just never happened, then I revert to old mentality and habits.
The change of identity and the ability to handle emotional pain, is my current sticking point in terms of emotional aspect.
Let's solve this, I really hope this can also bring some pointers for people in the future.
If you, or precisely to say, your "mastermind" within you don't accept the emotional pain and identity shift along the way, you'll keep getting rebounds like me, you'll just keep going back to the same hell you got yourself out of in the first place.
Cry, scream, yell, because the pain doesn't go away by hiding it..Cry it out..let it out..
Then, keep crawling back up, and face the pain..Let it run all over you.
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Skin condition update: Keep getting new inflammation area, because of scratching
In shortly 3-5 days, I've gone from clear skin to body full of scars once again.
Oh wells, the reason is simple: I've crossed the threshold again and now I'm back at inflammatory state.
I believe I was just below the threshold when my skin recovered but never got fully lubricated skin again.
Now, let's push past the threshold again and go further. I'm committed to this, let's do it.
Currently supplementing with -
Kelp 150mcg x 6/day
Vit D3 4000 IU /day
Omega 3 (alaska fish oil pills) 4-8 per day..megadosing
However also been reading something bad on how fish oil causes oxidation. I believe there're pros and cons, It's anti-inflammatory, but oxidizes easily. Hmm..I need to learn more about this.
Keeping stuff simple recently, trying to reduce the inflammatory state as much as possible right now.
I've done it before, where the combination of Bowel cleanses + Vitamin D3 substantially reduced my inflammation, but this time I wonder how long it'll take because my body is going through a lot of stress itself.
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Research breakthrough
http://gutcritters.com/pufas-leaky-gut-endotoxemia-and-the-liver/ Linked with leaky gut and liver damage if taking Omega-3 supplementation in their diet, using rat cells as research basis..
So..Omega-3 supplementation is not the answer, but lowering omega-6 intake?
Pretty Ray Peat school of thought, but none the less interesting..Hmm..
This site is great, I learnt so much to it..
The same answer just keep popping up to me lately in my research, that saturated fat of animals that eat their natural diet are the key towards health.
I feel like alice in wonderland, jumping down the rabbit hole.
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As to "compromise" foods. Maybe try buckwheat over rice? Personally I'd take buckwheat.
I'd take buckwheat over rice anytime.
Well, buckwheat won't be on the road for me, in HK there're no buckwheat in the market (at least not that I can find without a lot of time..and I'm out out here again soon)
Good luck badboy9311
Thanks phil, you've always given solid scientific advice, I love it.
Please let me know what you think of my progress as I update this journal more
I have a "formal" hierarchy for eating on the road
I never made a formal hierarchy, but my hierarchy right now is
RPD> Cooked PD > PD including rice (so just cut out gluten and SOY pretty much) > Junk diet (all you can eat SAD)
The problem I guess is that I never made it clear to myself in my lifestyle. And cravings are nuts when you're cold and hungry all the time. Thyroid problem + SAD + emotional distress = recipe for disaster