Advertising My Daughter for Marriage (In the future)

[goodsamaritan]

Need serious thoughts guys and gals.  Cultural differences of opinion accepted.

Children grow up eventually and as a parent I'd want the best for them.

In this thread I'm exploring marrying off my daughter beginning 18 years old (legal age in my country).

She's only 8 today, but will be 18 in 10 years.  So think technology and the world 10 years from now.  Maybe we will have 10G internet and mainstream open universities etc.

Paleo diet mainstream.  And health paradigms we know gaining ground.

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Daughter... 18 years old... show some pics.

Zero vaccines
Zero drugs
Anthroposophic Doctor and Raw Paleo Father and Paleo Diet Mother as primary health consultants
Waldorf schooled (Steiner)
Did not grow up watching TV.
Fed a mostly Home prepared Organic Cooked Paleo Diet plus organic rice.
Dresses conservatively (does not wear pussy shorts), but has long combed hair, wears ribbons, hair accessories, healthy nail polish, sexy footwear, earings, necklaces
Pro-life values
Raw Paleo Diet Health Paradigms
Shops healthy food and prepares healthy meals. (does not identify with any fast food or restaurant)
Experienced in child care with cousins and nephews.
Grew up in an extended family compound with siblings, grandparents, aunts and nearby cousins.
Health issues: Zero (gets constipated and gets colds when fed wheat)
Virgin
Musically trained (harp, flute, piano, violin)
Gymnastically trained
Taught internet based businesses and has a few money making sites of her own.

No for boyfriend suitors... no fuck buddy suitors... only for marriage suitors

Preference are males ready for marriage (25 to 40), stable financial status, equally healthy, will not poison my girl with contraceptives, will accept her high fertility as is, husband open to many children, applicant husband must show proof of latest sperm count lab results (my sister did this).

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Need your comments and suggestions for success with my daughter.  How to advertise discreetly in your respective cultures.  I've seen direct ads like this in India.  But other cultures may have to do it more discreetly.  I have no exposure with dating websites.

[Joy2012]

Lovely girl!

One question: Is she being trained to think independently...so that she may be independent in her choice of her husband regardless of the preferences of her beloved father?

[goodsamaritan]

She's growing up in an extended family who are all health nuts.
And she is schooled waldorf steiner style.
Her mother, grandma and aunts are religious.
Me and grandpa are not.
All are pro-life.
So i'm just one influence.

[Joy2012]

Haha. Your advertisement sounds like you were the sole arbitrator of your little girl's fate.

A caveat: many fathers never think any marriage suitor  worthy to carry away his daughter.

[van]

How about letting her study abroad,, letting her get to know men of different cultures,  letting her find her own real love.  That's assuming you're thinking you must find someone other than from your own area.

[eveheart]

I am from an arranged-marriage culture. It's not an anti-independence thing, really. The working out of a marriage happens during the married years, not before the marriage. There are just a few options when it comes to partner introductions: parents, relatives, friends, matchmakers, or one's own self can find a suitable partner. A good parent is just as likely to arrange a great partner as any other route.

How to advertise discreetly in my culture? I think it has to do with the family's social connections, and the ones I know about happen within the religious community. Also, wait until she is much older. A good US husband would want an educated wife, meaning she should have a college degree. Socially in upper-class America, a wife should have a college degree to be an asset to her husband.

[TylerDurden]

As a Stirnerite, I  suggest she be allowed to make her own mistakes in life. Otherwise, she will hate you for the rest of her life, if, as is likely, a marriage chosen by you ultimately fails. If her own choices don't work, well then she can't blame you, can she?

[papangue]

i cant' believe what i'm reading!! you are totally insane!! what makes you think she is willing to embrace your paleo dream?

[Projectile Vomit]

Will you initiate a similar marketing campaign for your son(s)? When will it be time to put them on the auction block?

[Iguana]

ROFL !    The last and best joke of 2012   

Happy New Year to everyone !

[raw]

Interesting GS! Very entertaining (even though it's a serious issue )

[svrn]

Excellent, you have such lucky kids.

It may just be my american culture talking here but I think its a bit early to start advertising. I guess its totally normal where your at though.  Dont mind me.

[goodsamaritan]

Haha. Your advertisement sounds like you were the sole arbitrator of your little girl's fate.

A caveat: many fathers never think any marriage suitor  worthy to carry away his daughter.

Thank you for your thoughts.

I think if we are looking hard and deliberately enough, my daughter's deserving prince will come along.

How about letting her study abroad,, letting her get to know men of different cultures,  letting her find her own real love.  That's assuming you're thinking you must find someone other than from your own area.

Thank you for your thoughts.

That's a possibility if and when she's older and wiser.  Children need guidance especially when they are young and stupid.  I solicited my parents' opinions of my dates and stopped dating women they outrightly disliked because I knew they had my best interests in mind.

I think facebook and other online media may help with exposing my daughter to a broader range.  Also me and my wife joining organizations and travelling with her may help.  Same with fanning out information to friends and relatives that we are in search of husband material candidates.

I am from an arranged-marriage culture. It's not an anti-independence thing, really. The working out of a marriage happens during the married years, not before the marriage. There are just a few options when it comes to partner introductions: parents, relatives, friends, matchmakers, or one's own self can find a suitable partner. A good parent is just as likely to arrange a great partner as any other route.

How to advertise discreetly in my culture? I think it has to do with the family's social connections, and the ones I know about happen within the religious community. Also, wait until she is much older. A good US husband would want an educated wife, meaning she should have a college degree. Socially in upper-class America, a wife should have a college degree to be an asset to her husband.

Thank you for the advice.

I agree with that college degree thing.  This is why I'm a believer in the online open university degrees.  And that I studied in a university where pregnant women as students are normal.

At the same time I would like my daughter to have the opportunity of starting her family at 18-24, something westernized urban societies these days view as taboo.

As a Stirnerite, I  suggest she be allowed to make her own mistakes in life. Otherwise, she will hate you for the rest of her life, if, as is likely, a marriage chosen by you ultimately fails. If her own choices don't work, well then she can't blame you, can she?

Thank you for the thoughts.

Children can make mistakes that are injurious and fatal.  I love her that much as I judge that my family of 4 siblings seems to have married quite well due to the guidance of our parents.  I played a good part in teaching / influencing my much younger brother and sister and they married quite well.

Our parents taught us that choosing your spouse is one of the most important decisions in one's life.

I made conscious written plans as early as 14 years old.  I continued to fine tune that plan and solicited parental advice.  And made conscious decisions on my own.  I married quite well.

The only blind spot I had in my marriage was how damned idiotic the medical / ob-gyn profession was.  That my wife's heart condition in her first pregnancy could have been better treated with chiropractics rather than heart drugs.  We were victimized by c-section technology and ineptness in preventing such procedures such as turning the baby in utero.  Then again the ineptness in the need for appendicitis surgery.

My wife and I back then in the 1997 when we got married already saw and observed how contraceptives had harmed friends and relatives.  We were not pro-lifers (not yet then), not religious (my wife is religious now, I probably never will be), we were just looking out for our own health.  You could say we are post-contraceptive children... my parents did contraceptives... but her parents did not. 

So passing on improvements and our experiences to our children is our responsibility.

[goodsamaritan]

i cant' believe what i'm reading!! you are totally insane!! what makes you think she is willing to embrace your paleo dream?

Thank you for the thoughts.

Do you not care for the family formation success of your own children?

Me, my brother and 2 sisters married well because we were guided and were deliberately awake in choosing a spouse.  Guiding my daughter as my parents and grandparents guided theirs is what you could say... family tradition... and merely parental responsibility.

I have seen so much parental abandon  / zero preparation / zero education in my culture in the area of family formation children only know what they see on TV, in movies, in school programs intent only on population control, from their equally inept friends of the same age.

Unguided women in our culture wind up pregnant from a dead beat boy / married man who also has an equally dead beat family.  And there is no government to force child support.  And there is no government social system to feed you.  Women victimized by this turn to prostitution, or be ultra poor, and may starve to death.

I've seen women here marry very bad men who are health stupid and intentionally force them on health sabotaging birth control pills.  As in he buys the pills, he gives the pills, he watches the woman drink the pill in front of him everyday.  Same as men who push their woman to get a ligation. www.tubal.org shows how tubal ligation is tons harmful.

Just as we want and choose the best food, the best health, the best school...

Seeing to it that our daughter be guided in choosing a great husband is of the highest importance!  My own mother directly intervened when she thought my sister was choosing the wrong guy to marry. 

Will you initiate a similar marketing campaign for your son(s)? When will it be time to put them on the auction block?

Thanks for the thought.

I already did initiate the boys' strategy and it is still on going.  Boys' strategy is far far different.  I may post that strategy here.

My daughter is NOT up for "auction".  The promise is her future husband has no right whatsoever to "lay a hand" on my daughter as me father and 2 older brothers will beat him up in return.  There's an immediate family and a big extended family behind my daughter... so she is backed up pretty well.

ROFL !    The last and best joke of 2012   

Happy New Year to everyone !

Happy New Year... but this is serious stuff that I consciously always strategize about.

Interesting GS! Very entertaining (even though it's a serious issue )

Thanks...  I know you have Indian roots, I learned quite a bit from your culture of choosing spouses.  Can you give more insights?

Excellent, you have such lucky kids.

It may just be my american culture talking here but I think its a bit early to start advertising. I guess its totally normal where your at though.  Dont mind me.

Thank you for the input.

Women getting pregnant beginning 16 and the boyfriend running away is so common it's cliche.  Prostitution is also cliche.  I detest the boyfriend - girlfriend culture for my girls.  Marriage is there to protect our girls.

I'm thinking 10 years into the future, online colleges, online open universities should allow all people to continue their education regardless of age.

I lament and observe urban filipino culture closed mindedly say 18-24 should be reserved for college and starting work.  But biologically speaking those are the prime ages women should be creating children.  With new distance learning technology and distance work, my daughter now has the option to create her children at 18-24 and her youth and beauty may attract deserving princes.

What happens to women that are supposedly TABOO to have children at 18-24 is that they resort to contraceptive technology which is unhealthy, unsatisfying, and they enter into boyfriend girlfriend relationships which are actually merely contraceptive sexual relationships....  I have too much disdain for chemical and hormonal contraceptives... my young lady's body environment turned hostile to my future grand children... and some people wonder why many children these days are sick... they come from wombs poisoned, injured and malnourished with contraceptives.

[Inger]

I actually like your approach GS. I like how you use the word "guidance". It is not that you are aggressively choosing her husband and she has no choise or opinion. But istead you guide and support her. Very wise.

Especially after I listened to Jack Kruses last webinar about women, how women are different then men. Because they are, very much so. They are much more sensitive to mismatches. Their health suffers much sooner and they loose their instincts! That is what have happned today. People live in huge mismatches. Foodwise, lightwise, tempwise.. the seasons are not recognized.. etc.
It destroys our sensibility to sense our environment, to respond to it properly!
That is why women have huge issues taking care even of their own children today! And issues interacting with their husbands.. mood issues.. lots of issues. They are not able to sense and react to environment properly because of their broken hormones/health.

To all women who read this. Give yourself the gift and start living a way that gives you these abilities back! Be kind to you, limit stress and all things that destroys our healt in your life, all mismatches. Because to be a women is so beautiful, if we understand how we are created! We are incredible sensible!

[Joy2012]

A woman often chooses a husband who is somewhat like the men in her original family.

I had a lovely cousin who was beautiful and educated and gentle. Her grandfather and her father and her brother have been womanizers, to the grief of their wives. She married a well-educated man...who later abandoned her for another woman. My heart-broken cousin basically committed suicide. Her heart-broken father still does not understand that his daughter's failed marriage and suicide had something to do with his own life-long womanizing hobby.

What I am trying to say is that the way you and your sons behave may have a big impact on the kind of men your daughter will like in the future.

[Iguana]

Yes Joy, certainly.

GS, if all Filipino men are such machos, let's hope she'll get in love with a gentle foreigner who knows women are human beings and should be respected as such.  But as she's only 8, there's still time! Perhaps in a decade, mentalities will evolve...

In western current culture, parents have nothing at all to say about their offspring's love life. The young ones think they know better than the elders and they do what they want without taking any care at all about what their parents would advice them. 

[svrn]

I dont think gs is being disrespectful.

[Iguana]

No, sure he's not!

I didn't think about him when I wrote my above post, but about the general attitude of Filipino men towards women he describes.

[wodgina]

I think parents want whats best of themselves. It's a pretty lie that they want whats best for their children. I come from a loving family and noticed that really your on your own...hard to comprehend...something the movies and fiction leave out.

[wodgina]

A woman often chooses a husband who is somewhat like the men in her original family.

I had a lovely cousin who was beautiful and educated and gentle. Her grandfather and her father and her brother have been womanizers, to the grief of their wives. She married a well-educated man...who later abandoned her for another woman. My heart-broken cousin basically committed suicide. Her heart-broken father still does not understand that his daughter's failed marriage and suicide had something to do with his own life-long womanizing hobby.

What I am trying to say is that the way you and your sons behave may have a big impact on the kind of men your daughter will like in the future.

Perfect example of why women can't ever be wrong.

Women know who the womanisers are and actively seek them but no.... blame the Dad.

[raw-al]

Also, wait until she is much older. A good US husband would want an educated wife, meaning she should have a college degree. Socially in upper-class America, a wife should have a college degree to be an asset to her husband.

Not sure what classifies as a good US husband but in the case of your criteria I guess I must be a bad one. College is frequently a large waste of money.

[goodsamaritan]

I think parents want whats best of themselves. It's a pretty lie that they want whats best for their children. I come from a loving family and noticed that really your on your own...hard to comprehend...something the movies and fiction leave out.

He he he, Wodgina, you will find out later when you are a parent.

My maternal grandma tried very hard so that her 4 daughters would marry committed family men instead of the womanizer she got. (although my grandma was the 2nd wife - 2nd woman).  I'd say she succeeded.

If my daughter can find committed men like my father in law and my dad ( her grand fathers)... that would be a good start... if we can get better options, the better.

And that is why I'm raising my daughter to be like her grandmother.  My mother in law is my dream woman... THE dream woman.  If my daughter can be like grandma, she can choose from among the best men out there.

[wodgina]

He he he, Wodgina, you will find out later when you are a parent.

My maternal grandma tried very hard so that her 4 daughters would marry committed family men instead of the womanizer she got. (although my grandma was the 2nd wife - 2nd woman).  I'd say she succeeded.

If my daughter can find committed men like my father in law and my dad ( her grand fathers)... that would be a good start... if we can get better options, the better.

And that is why I'm raising my daughter to be like her grandmother.  My mother in law is my dream woman... THE dream woman.  If my daughter can be like grandma, she can choose from among the best men out there.

Ha GS I will/maybe/probably not find out!

[goodsamaritan]

Ha GS I will/maybe/probably not find out!

Never say never.

I have a male friend who got married and on their wedding day told all the guests in their reception that they were adamant in NOT having kids.  That the world was overpopulated.

They relied on birth control pills.  And still had 2 daughters.

Now he's a loving parent posting facebook pics of his daughters.... ha ha ha ha ha.