Very Frustrated

[RogueFarmer]

I have the creeping feeling of failure. I should not feel this way because I am not and I have accomplished a lot. However I keep running into walls I cannot penetrate. The more walls I run into the more I slow down and the more walls I encounter and the more they prove impenetrable.

I am a very talented and intelligent individual but I lack the organizational skills and support to be successful in the heavily flawed situations I have been in.

I don't want to farm by myself anymore. I think if I had the right setup in the right place I could do it, but I don't even want to. I never wanted to do it all by myself.

I have had a great journey and learned tons but I am distressed and sick from stress and cannot think clearly. I am waiting on the butcher to call me back so that I can start eating good beef. I thought I was eating halfway decent but I recently had a virtual health collapse after 7 years of doing really well.

I have an understanding and experience of ecological production and economics of virtually any and all species of livestock, I am ready to be a successful grass farmer and have a very profitable business, but I can't make it go. I am almost out of emotional energy.

Now I'm considering whether to sell all or most of my animals. If I sell all of them I will probably travel for some time.

Leaning at moving back to where I am from in NY as that is probably a much better environment for me than the middle of nowhere in Northern Michigan (which is awesome, just not by my lonesome).

I hope if I move back to NY to be selling at a NYC farmers market and having a NYC grass fed buying club by next spring.

Very few people responded to my adds I posted. I don't understand why.

I'm done learning the hard way, success soon please. 

[Iguana]

I understand you very well since I've also been alone trying to do something to insure a food production for us, raw paleo dieters. I've been working alone almost all the time, setting a poultry, planting fruit trees, etc. Now I moved somewhere else in hope that things will be better since I'm now near the Atlantic shores, something I missed. But I have to start again planting trees and setting another poultry without any hope that someone will ever seriously help me. That's it.

They want eggs, but they cannot even come to take them, and if we send them (it takes a lot of work and time to pack them properly) they find that these eggs are too expensive and transport charges too high... But none is willing or able to set up a production of eggs suitable to eat for us!

[RogueFarmer]

Perhaps part of my problem is that I got it in my head that I had to have a business before I ever got good at growing my own food.

[eveheart]

I know from my own experience that failure is the seed of success. My personal style is to have one or more mentors, and I would recommend that as your next step. Maybe you already have mentors, but you need to use them in a different way. Consider also that your future partner might be found hanging around a mentor, too. From reading your posts on this forum, I get the impression that you know your stuff, so you would not be a drag on a mentor. You may also think about teaching what you know to others, in which case you attract people who are looking for a mentor.

There is a verse by Samuel Beckett:
“Ever tried. Ever failed.
No matter.
Try again. Fail again.
Fail better.”

[RogueFarmer]

I know from my own experience that failure is the seed of success. My personal style is to have one or more mentors, and I would recommend that as your next step. Maybe you already have mentors, but you need to use them in a different way. Consider also that your future partner might be found hanging around a mentor, too. From reading your posts on this forum, I get the impression that you know your stuff, so you would not be a drag on a mentor. You may also think about teaching what you know to others, in which case you attract people who are looking for a mentor.

There is a verse by Samuel Beckett:
“Ever tried. Ever failed.
No matter.
Try again. Fail again.
Fail better.”

Well I posted an add but very few responses. I think I am too remote. I didn't want to post an add for Interns because I am not ready for that yet.

The problem with having a good mentor is being in the right place... perhaps selling all of my animals so I can go apprentice for someone else. Not sure if that will truly be helpful. Don't know what to do. argh

[miles]

Did you ask on here? Jessica has worked a lot on farms I think, maybe she will team up with you?

[RogueFarmer]

Did you ask on here? Jessica has worked a lot on farms I think, maybe she will team up with you?

She is committed to the PNW, an area that is entirely foreign and very far away to me. I wouldn't be opposed to farming there if I could find a good situation. I am told I would get along with Californians.

[jessica]

what are you doing this winter?  come visit rogue, I am near Ashland Oregon, tons of cool stuff going on here, its a place to make a little $$, very supportive of entreprenuers......I am working with a women who is doing some very awesome stuff with meat birds, they are awesome buddies,

but there are ample places for hunting and fishing

honestly I am burnt out on farming, I feel my energy is better spent figuring out how I work in the natural preservation and remediation field, whether it be with intelligent land and herd management or even for the forest service.  id rather just hunt and encourage and allow mama nature take care of the rest

lots of educational opportunities out here, easy climate, really interesting place.  things just grow, great forage just grows.  will probably succumb to earthquakes, volcanos, wildfires or tsunamis but I am not so attached to let that bother me

but I feel both you and iguana, its a very frusterating time we live in, I have learned to be very flexible and go with the path of least resistance.....my goal is still the same, to be able to live in a lush environment with plentiful and healthful food sources and community.  its hard to assimilate, that's for sure.  people are ridiculous, society is unfathomable on what it values and how it processes information, but to be clever and to learn how to use what is available to work towards the ultimate goal, without sacrificing health or happiness, is all I can try for.  ill keep moving, changing, learning, evolving until then


some place closer to you you may appreciate and use as an education experience is http://www.newforestfarm.net/

[bookittyrun]

never give up on a dream.

frustration will not permit you to find an answer, only an excuse.
when you can manage to take a breath, rethink things.  you'll need a serene state of mind to come to a solution...  just know there is a solution.  the amount of time and energy you've invested are proof you are heading in the right direction.

you just need to step out of the box.

[eveheart]

Mentoring can be done long-distance. We're your mentors!

Where are your nearest ag schools? What kind of demo farms do they use? How could you fill a niche for them?

You're right, you're not ready for interns.

Where you do advertise? Who is your ideal candidate? Are you advertising where your candidate looks?

[jessica]

if your health is an issue right now it might be wise to step back and see if you can get you feeling better.

[RogueFarmer]

I'm hoping these peeps are going to show up from NM. Otherwise I will likely sell off the whole herd. I need a break, I am burnt out and need to experience some more things and perhaps find the right place for me. I guess I didn't think I would but now I feel like I'm ready to go on walkabout.

Super raw world 3

Start up again better in a better place next spring perhaps? Or these peeps from NM actually show up! Better give them a call and see what they say.

[jessica]

http://www.solidgroundfarm.com/about/

heres another pretty legit farm, I know its probably not ideal, but they do accept interns and then you are not doing all of the work yourself....its in ohio, I know a lot of good people from and in ohio, actually mostly kids I have worked on farm with, and there is definitely a good population of more enlightened folks out there

[RogueFarmer]

Ha, I was living in Athens. Never met them I don't think, I wonder why not. Pretty sure they have a warrant out for me in those parts... lol

It's okay, if I go back I just have to have 500 dollars in hand and avoid the police until I get to their base haha.

[RogueFarmer]

I just can't do shit by myself. I'm an extrovert.

[jessica]

rogue go there! I am pretty sure my old farm manager is there so its not his first go round with us raw meat crazies

[RogueFarmer]

Things are getting better. I met a neighbor who has a farm 1 mile north of me and needs help bad.

Here is the map you requested. It looks ugly because the photo was taken in very early spring.

Map removed according to RogueFarmer's request.
Iguana

I'm the f'ed up golden rectangle on the right. My friend's farm is directly north past the woods.