Coming out:
I might meet my family again anytime soon and my boyfriend is returning home in 4 months.
My sister is in med school, and she warns that eggs should be fully cooked to the core in order to avoid salmonella (even though salmonella... is on the outside?) and my mom is super paranoid about parasites and germs so she won't even let me cook because I don't cook my meats inside out like she does. She has to cook her meats until the core is all gray because that is safer in her opinion. This Christmas she told me she'll make me medium rare steak and then I found that it was gray to the core LOL. So no, I can't get away with the "cooked surface but raw inside" disguise at someone else's house. I am sure I'll have to join my family and relatives again for the holidays and weddings, what do I eat besides a bunch of boiled eggs??!?! Even eating a bunch of boiled eggs get me that "that's too much cholesterol!" bs.
My family is already concerned over me eating a lot of butter and they think I eat too much meat and animal produce. They attribute all my health problems such as acne to eating too much butter and not enough vegetables. God forbid how they'll react if they find out that the reason I refuse to join in their pastas and the dumplings is because I eat raw meat. I am sure my mom would break down by the thought of me eating raw liver, and my family would force me into an institution. For real!
My mom knew some hunter's daughters who were raised on wild game blood and offals, and admits that the sisters were strong and beautiful looking. Yet, she's convinced that raw meat = instant death. Ugh.
I want to improve my health, and my looks, and after people are surprised as how I've changed, THEN I want to confess to them so they don't think I am anorexic for refusing their cooked vegetables or something. Then when they go "but but Dr. PhD said..", I can be like, "hey, I look way healthier. The proof is in the pudding, who cares what Dr. PhD says?"
My family already thinks that my avoidance of gluten and cow dairy is BS, and they suggest that I cook with grapeseed or olive oil (which are not real olive oil anyway in most stores), eat more vegetables, whole grains, and soy. I am sure the reason why I am smaller and weaker than my siblings is because my mom was really into the conventional healthy lifestyle such as eating more soy products, drinking a lot of orange juice, only eating whole grains, cutting out meat when possible, using margarine, and low-fat everything. Somehow I wasn't stopped from drinking sodas and eating a lot of candies by mom. My siblings are several years older than I am, and were raised on the more traditional ethnic diets. And they're healthy and they wonder if all my health issues are just in my head. After all, my mom did "everything right" but I was still sick. I was often accused of pretending to be sick for attention.
As you can see, I am extremely bitter with the conventional wisdom and the stupidity of the doctors who failed to help me. The more I think about it, the more the medical industry looks like a joke, and so many smart and gifted students are put into a position where they exploit people's illness instead of curing them, and the med students don't even know it.
When I switched to borderline paleo (not even real paleo but following the basic stuff), I wasn't bedridden 24/7 and I felt more "concious" of the things around me. As if I was drunk during my whole childhood and suddenly I am sober and aware. Sometimes I used to cry because I was so bitter, it felt like my childhood was robbed and I am so much weaker, smaller, and sicker compared to other people. No child should go through the sickness and pain I did, let alone be constantly told that there's nothing wrong and that all the pain is inside your head.
Even after I followed some paleo rules, I didn't watch my sugar intake. Even though I don't eat a lot of sugar compared to others, I probably had lingering gut issues that made me a lot more sensitive. I still had acne and occasional fatigue. My periods were still very painful. I was diagnosed with PCOS (I didn't tell my family because that would open up a whole new can of criticisms and power struggles) and I am told that it's "genetic" and that all I can do it take birth control. What utter crock. Thank you fat doctor, but why should I believe you when you can't even take care of yourself...
My family knows that I eat differently, but thanks to my chronic symptoms, they think my diet is BS. They point out that I still have acne, and blame the butter or accuse me of starving myself, and that I should just "take a bite" in the whole grain dumplings they made...
Boyfriend:
He's coming home in 4 months. My boyfriend finds it funny how I eat a lot of 'fattening' foods but never gain weight. He jokes about how I must be so fat because of the bacon I eat, but he knows that I am not fat. I never was. He's sure that it's my fast metabolism and freak genetics, but I try to convince him that fat doesn't make you fat. My BF would be aghast if he finds that I eat raw meat, but then I'll use the "proof is in the pudding" argument on him. And then compare raw meat to sushi, one of his favorite foods. Or maybe, who knows, he'll find it exotic and claim that he has a dog as a girlfriend.
